Broken Promises

Sorry everyone, I know I promised a post that actually included thought and effort but I'm not up to it. I promise as soon as I get some minor health problems taken care of I'll be back blogging with a vengeance.

Also, if you aren't watching LOST, I weep for you. Last night's episode pretty much solidified LOST's position as the best written show out there. I'll even go so far to say that LOST is now better than any movie you are going to see this year that does not Rhyme with Cindy Anna Thrones. Seriously, pick up the past seasons on DVD and get watching.

Also, I leave you with a link to one of my favorite sites.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

If you've ever had roommates, this site should prove a source of endless hilarity.

Also here's some previews for next weeks LOST

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LOST!!!!!!!!!

One more video

Sorry, I'm a bad blogger. I promise that next time I will put actual time and effort into a blog post rather than just posting a video. However, this is one of my favorite songs of all time. Yes, even more than Mr. Pants. It's called Cannonball, by Damien Rice and if you haven't bought his first album, "O" then I strongly urge you to quit wasting your life and go out and get it. It's that good.

Mr. Pants

And how would George Washington destroy the human race?

Washington

In honor of George Washington's Birthday, here's a documentary video about his little known encounter with StarBoy.

Go Cougs!

I go to UNLV, but I bleed Blue. I completely forgot about the game, but I was glad to hear the outcome. Read all about the Cougs pounding UNLV here.

RIP HD-DVD

For those of you who follow this sort of thing, it's Semi-Official, HD-DVD is now dead, BLU-Ray has won. Word on the street is that Toshiba has thrown in the towel. Expect to hear an official announcement soon. Story here.

Weekend Videos

Here are a couple Videos for your weekend viewing. First is "Clap Hands" by Beck (Thanks Michele for calling this song to my memory).



The next two are songs written by Hugh Laurie, best known from the TV show "House" (or if you are a total nerd, "Blackadder"). Turns out Laurie is a prolific songwriter here are two of my faves. The first is a protest song, and the second is a love song he performed on "Inside the Actors Studio."

INDIANA!!!!

Please Please Please don't let this suck.

Review and Comment on the news.

Here's the lowdown on the latest stories.

Shaq Traded to the Suns

On the one hand, I admire Steve Kerr for making this trade. He put his job on the line to take a crazy risk. If this pays off, he's a genius, if it fails, he's ruined the Phoenix Suns. There's a chance that Shaq might whip himself back into shape and the Suns might finally have a player who can guard Tim Duncan. The Suns clearly needed to do something to solve the locker room problems with Marion and Banks. Plus, Anyone who played at UNLV is trouble. So, I give Kerr and the Suns mad props for having the testicular fortitude to gamble and take a chance in a league where most GM's are too scared of screwing up to make a trade, and talk themselves out of doing any trade. The NBA has been a prime example of Paralysis by Analysis for the past couple years.

On the other hand, Shaq has more mileage on him than the Millenium Falcon. He's past his prime, his numbers are steadily declining, and he weighs approximately the same as a manatee. Add in his tremendous ego and the fact that he's going to be the 4th choice on that team when it comes to scoring and you could have a problem. Plus, Shaq's injured so much these days his legs may as well be made out of cardboard. This trade may work out, and if it does I will take back everything I just wrote. However, until proven otherwise, this trade is about on par with trading your ancestors Native Lands for small pox infested blankets.

Verdict:

¡MUY TONTO!

Democratic Race

Obama has finally taken the lead, and Hillary is running scared and running out of money. So why do I still think that the Democrats are going to screw this up? Because this is the same party that thought you should vote for Lyndon Johnson, Hubert Humphry, George McGovern, Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, and John Kerry. The fact that it is the Democratic Party means that it is almost guaranteed to nominate someone who has no business being president. Basically, being the Democratic Presidential Nominee is about as prestigious as being the drummer for Spinal Tap. I'm waiting for the turnaround. I'm telling you that the democratic party will choke and Nominate Hillary Clinton. This will happen because, as Ayn Rand says, A is A. It is their nature to choose the incompetent unlikeable nutcase, and it's only a matter of time. It's like the Old Faithful of the Political World.

Verdict:




The democrats will screw you over, it's just a matter of time.


Mr. Clemens goes to Washington

Roger Clemens went to Congress to try and explain why the many people who have implicated him in Steroids are lying. Apparently, his trainers, friends, and teammates have all cosmically "misremembered" things the same way, and only Roger Clemens has a clear grasp on reality. In his defense, everyone who says Clemens used steroids is a proven liar, and everyone who questioned him today was a congressman, which is basically the same thing. It's hard to know who to believe when everyone involved has a level of credibility on par with "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." However, I'd like to believe Roger Clemens. I think it is totally natural to going from washed up in the nineties to pitching 20K games. I think it is totally natural to lob 90 mph fastballs into your forties and to have your ERA drop as you get older. Still, Roger seem flustered when he wasn't reading his prepared statement and looked like he had something to hide. I wouldn't cancel any plans during Hall of Fame voting Roger, I have a feeling you might have to wait.

Verdict:




Sorry Roger, you should have tried saying you forgot how to speak English.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a fake holiday invented by greeting card companies to separate fools from their money. Here at Simsisms we support the abolition of this senseless waste of money and cause of numerous unwanted pregnancies and favor the establishment of a more worthwhile holiday. We move for recognition of National Stop Lying to Yourself Day. On this day, people should examine their lives, relationships, career, etc., and tell themselves the truth about where they are. Take the day to look in the mirror and say, "You know what, I shot up HGH by the gallon and probably shouldn't lie to congress," or "All my boyfriend and I ever do is fight. I don't think having children is going to make things better." Take the day and snap yourself out of denial. Sure, the holiday sounds a little depressing at first, but we can guarantee that if anything, it will cause fewer suicides than Valentines day. Instead of insincere cards and fattening chocolates, you could give your loved ones a full length mirror, a gym membership, or the paperwork to take out a restraining order on their psycho boyfriend/girlfriend. As a society, do we need another holiday where we lie through our teeth about how we love people, or do we need a holiday where we have that unpleasant conversation where we sit down and tell our children that they were adopted?

Verdict:



J. Geils was right; Love stinks.

Guess Who's back

Malcolm Gladwell, author of Blink and Tipping Point, is back blogging again. He had been authoring one of the best and most worthwhile blogs on the internets but took time off to work on his latest book. Now that he's done he's back with a vengeance. Recent posts involve Steroids, war on drugs, IQ and race, etc. Blink and Tipping Point are two of the most interesting (and influential) NonFic books published in the last few years. If you haven't read them yet you owe it to yourself to go pick them up. They're short reads but absolutely fascinating and engrossing. Gladwell's Blog is frequently just as well authored and interesting and well worth a look. Gladwell's Blog, and past articles for the New Yorker and other publications, can be read here.

LOST Season

Writer's strike is over. Word on LOST is that we won't get a full 16 episodes this season, but we will get 13. Story here.

Toxic

I found out about this from one of my old Royal Mesa Peeps, Jen Kirk, a woman of unparalleled coolness and mad dance skills. Her blog is in the links on the right of this page and I recommend it to all as she has impeccable taste. She posted about Yael Naim's cover of "Toxic" and I am shamelessly copying Jen and posting it too because it is just too good not to share. Here it is in glorious Youtube format, well worth your viewing time. Thanks Jen for pointing this out.

The Book List

I asked for suggestions for some good books to read for the next couple of months. Here's the list so far. Additional suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

East of Eden by Steinbeck

Dead Souls by Gogol

Confederacy of Dunces by Toole

As I Lay Dying by Faulkner

Seize the Day by Bellows.

The Iceman Cometh by O'Neill

Breakfast of Champions by Vonnegut.

Quotations

Basically, at any given moment when I'm in class, I'm really chatting on google talk instead of paying attention. This was particularly true last semester in con law, an experience I can best compare to having the world's biggest hemorrhoid. Mostly my google talk comments are dull and uninteresting, but occasionally I do manage a witty remark laced with an ironic pop culture reference. Here are some of my friends' favorite Brad quotes from the last semester.


-On the Nevada Caucuses: "I have better things to do on a Saturday than democracy."


-On new testing procedures: "You take everything out one sheet at a time and it goes back in the book. And Don is lecturing everyone on cheating before each exam, then he proceeds to give out a Disney themed password which seriously undermines his masculinity."


-On Class Handouts: "Trees died for this. Somewhere, Al Gore is pissed."


-"Thelma and Louise? Put a check in the Lesbian column."


-me: I have a massive ego, why do you think I'm still single?
Ryan: I think that's just one of the reasons.
me: My ego is too big to allow me to believe there are other reasons.


-On Registration: "Speaking of rape, which classes did you decide on?"

-"dude, sushi and nymphomania. You're life is indeed charmed."

-On one Professor's parenting skills:

"Her children are a few years from knocking over a 7-11 to score money for meth. "


-On the F word: "Wiki indicates there is no real agreement where the word comes from. The Christian wikipedia says it came from Satan through homosexuals to make you turn gay."

-Caleb: how do we get her fired?
me: Say she tried to lead you in prayer

-On Caleb's chances for a good grade from one of our liberal professors: "You are white, straight, male, Mormon, and you are married. You may as well burn gays at the stake as far as she's concerned."

-On Law School: "If this is success, failure must rally be a drag"


-On immigration: "I mean, as greatful as I am for people who keep the cost of smuggling down…"

-On Class Discussions: "I've been playing hearts. If you haven't had the good sense to zone out, your problem."

-On Halloween: "Hmmm...I'm coming dressed as a poor law student who has quit shaving and paying attention to basic hygiene."


-On Class Participation:

Caleb: dude no one participates in here.
me: you should change that
Caleb: meh, im rationally self interested. and i get no benefit of participating
me: You know that economists lead sad, unemotional lives, right?

-"I was rooting for everyone in Armageddon to die."

-Caleb: So which chick in here would you hook up with if you HAD to
me: Define had to. Like, terrorists would murder children?
Caleb: sure
me: Little children go to heaven, Brad stays clap-free.

-Caleb: pffff you have to make the girl think you are leagues above them.
me: I keep trying, but unfortunately they all have eyes.

-"just because I'm biased doesn't mean I'm wrong."


-On one Professor: "Apparently, Twinkie deprivation causes gayness and incidents of Bitchiness later in life."

-"Is there an inalienable right not to be bored to death with minutia and speculation filled class discussions? If so, my rights are being violated."

Super Tuesday

Vote for whoever you want. In November I am writing in Obama

Tuesday Links and Bleats.

In the midst of what looks to be a depressing Super Tuesday, President Bashir of Sudan has promoted the Architect of the genocide in Darfur to be his Senior Advisor on Ethnic Affairs. That's kind of like making Hitler the President of the Anti-Defamation League. One of the keys to stopping this madness in Darfur is to put pressure on Sudan's greatest trading partner, China. Sometimes, the most powerful thing in the world is not money, it is your voice. Please use yours to urge your Representative to lodge a protest with China. You can help by following this link and sending the enclosed message to your representative. Remember that injustice will persist in this world as long as no one speaks out against it.

In other news, I was going to riff some more on Super Tuesday. However, Simsisms favorite LoCal blogger, Peter, has been making some good posts on the Republican race and I think they are better than anything I can come up with. I urge you to read his latest posts, here.

In the legal realm, Britney Spears' mom has taken out a restraining order on behalf of Britney against Brit's manager. Documents are available on the Smoking Gun (thank you freedom of information act). You have to read it to believe it. Available here.

Please keep literature suggestions coming. East of Eden is off to an early lead so I'll probably pick it up after I finish my current book, Michael Palin's Diary of 1969-1979. Incidentally, I'm thinking of doing an online book discussion group this summer, if I do, I might draft some of you. We'll see how much time I have.

Now go Vote for the Least Evil Candidate.

The Rapture has officially begun

Eli Manning has won a... I can't even bring myself to type it. Suffice to say, when a dreadful quarterback suddenly turns into Joe Montana, surely the Apocalypse is not far behind. I'm too depressed about this to write a lengthy post and I can't shake the feeling I should go dress in black and sing Amazing Grace.

On another note, I've decided to become a literary nerd. I'm soliciting ideas for good literature to read. Please send me ideas for good things to read. Also, anyone know a good used bookstore in Vegas?

LOST

Lost is back! Last night's episode started things off with a bang and I have faith that it's going to be pure adrenaline from now til the end of the show. SPOILER ALERT:


Don't keep reading if you haven't watched the show. I think this flash forward thing is amazing. You can see now why the writers were adamant that they were never going to abandon the "flashbacks" on the show. Knowing what happens, but not knowing how, has ramped up the tension and I love it. My favorite moment of last night's ep was seeing Lance Reddick. He was great on the Wire and I'm hopeful that he'll play an important part in the flash forwards. I really hope that LOST just keeps adding cast members of the Wire. How cool would it be if they could add Prop Joe (seriously, was there ever a sadder death scene? There's no point in handing out awards if that actor can't win one)? I'm begging you, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelhoff, get the guy who plays Lester Freamon onto LOST. He's the single coolest actor on TV. Throw in McNulty too.

Anyway, enough of my disjointed ramblings. There was so much in last night's ep that I am almost certainly going to have to watch it a second time just to get everything. Most interesting was this:



It's a screenshot of Jacob, from the cabin. Does he look familiar to you? What is going on?

Between LOST and the Wire, TV is at an all time high. Good thing because movies are at an all time low. Seriously, was it me or were most films last year stunningly craptacular. Is there any movie out on DVD that you would honestly choose to watch over a DVD of Arrested Development? Film is dead. Here's hoping the writer's strike ends this week and LOST can get back into production in time to complete the season.