Quotations

Basically, at any given moment when I'm in class, I'm really chatting on google talk instead of paying attention. This was particularly true last semester in con law, an experience I can best compare to having the world's biggest hemorrhoid. Mostly my google talk comments are dull and uninteresting, but occasionally I do manage a witty remark laced with an ironic pop culture reference. Here are some of my friends' favorite Brad quotes from the last semester.


-On the Nevada Caucuses: "I have better things to do on a Saturday than democracy."


-On new testing procedures: "You take everything out one sheet at a time and it goes back in the book. And Don is lecturing everyone on cheating before each exam, then he proceeds to give out a Disney themed password which seriously undermines his masculinity."


-On Class Handouts: "Trees died for this. Somewhere, Al Gore is pissed."


-"Thelma and Louise? Put a check in the Lesbian column."


-me: I have a massive ego, why do you think I'm still single?
Ryan: I think that's just one of the reasons.
me: My ego is too big to allow me to believe there are other reasons.


-On Registration: "Speaking of rape, which classes did you decide on?"

-"dude, sushi and nymphomania. You're life is indeed charmed."

-On one Professor's parenting skills:

"Her children are a few years from knocking over a 7-11 to score money for meth. "


-On the F word: "Wiki indicates there is no real agreement where the word comes from. The Christian wikipedia says it came from Satan through homosexuals to make you turn gay."

-Caleb: how do we get her fired?
me: Say she tried to lead you in prayer

-On Caleb's chances for a good grade from one of our liberal professors: "You are white, straight, male, Mormon, and you are married. You may as well burn gays at the stake as far as she's concerned."

-On Law School: "If this is success, failure must rally be a drag"


-On immigration: "I mean, as greatful as I am for people who keep the cost of smuggling down…"

-On Class Discussions: "I've been playing hearts. If you haven't had the good sense to zone out, your problem."

-On Halloween: "Hmmm...I'm coming dressed as a poor law student who has quit shaving and paying attention to basic hygiene."


-On Class Participation:

Caleb: dude no one participates in here.
me: you should change that
Caleb: meh, im rationally self interested. and i get no benefit of participating
me: You know that economists lead sad, unemotional lives, right?

-"I was rooting for everyone in Armageddon to die."

-Caleb: So which chick in here would you hook up with if you HAD to
me: Define had to. Like, terrorists would murder children?
Caleb: sure
me: Little children go to heaven, Brad stays clap-free.

-Caleb: pffff you have to make the girl think you are leagues above them.
me: I keep trying, but unfortunately they all have eyes.

-"just because I'm biased doesn't mean I'm wrong."


-On one Professor: "Apparently, Twinkie deprivation causes gayness and incidents of Bitchiness later in life."

-"Is there an inalienable right not to be bored to death with minutia and speculation filled class discussions? If so, my rights are being violated."