Today's Class Time chat with Matt.

Matthew: Gird your loins boys, its about to begin.

Matthew Spring is online.

Brad: Shall we do our running chat?

Matthew: lets do it

Brad: Ground rules, don't mention anyone by name, enough people in this class already hate me.

Matthew: all good -fair enough

Brad: So, today's class is about sexual orientation. This should be pleasantly awkward

How many people are going to come out of the closet in today's class?

Matthew: as you can see from the attendance today, anyone who might have decided to come out today decided not to show up

they didn't want their smirks to out them

Brad: Ouch! That means she may try and convert some of us. Try to be strong.

Sent at 1:32 PM on Tuesday

Matthew: Isn't 100 lbs equal to 100 lbs.? That doesn't make any sense

Brad: Who can't lift 100 lbs?

So, when do you think a certain individual in the back row will share a personal experience about a friend she had who was gay who was discriminated against?

Matthew: "And somebody gay bashed me . . .eee. . . iii . . . my friend"

Sent at 1:37 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Here's my feeling on homosexuality. Elton John's music was much better before he was gay.

Matthew: Although David Bowie's was better when he was "experimenting"

Brad: I think David Bowie was the first closet heterosexual.

Once everyone thought he was gay he was like "Surprise, I'm straight, and marrying a supermodel."

Matthew: amen

Brad: What are the odds that we learn some law today?

Matthew: this is a law class?

Brad: I know, I was shocked to hear it too.

Wait, there was a guy who tried to get into an all women's nursing school? Stallion.

She's not gonna show film clips from "Cruisin'" is she? Cause I'm totally not cool with that.

Matthew: GI Jane, here we come!

Brad: Why is Nate raising his hand?

Make him stop

Matthew: He hates himself - he's a masochist.

Brad: Is he comparing football to the "Full Metal Jacket" treatment?

Dude, I think I just lost interest in the JAG.

Matthew: you had interest?

Brad: Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Matthew: Hmmm, we'll pay for college and you get to die for us - sound like a deal?

Brad: [Name Withheld] says she went to Annapolis?

Matthew: Apparently she also cured cancer and went to the moon.

Brad: 20 minutes in, no law.

You know, everyone is describing these brutal hazing rituals, they remind me a lot of Contracts last year.

Matthew: I called it!

Brad: Is it necessary to exclude women from the adversive methods to train soldiers?

Sent at 1:54 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Dude, 50 points to the first person who grows a pair and disagrees with Prof.

Matthew: Oh yeah - I forgot, I can't concentrate when women are around

Brad: Oh snap, someone disagreed with the Prof. and she can't take it. Who could have predicted it?

Matthew: But she's so liberal and open minded, that is unless numerous people with Ph.d's disagree also.

Brad: Okay, are we really talking about "should female soldiers take off their shirts when its hot?"

Oh.

my.

gosh.

She did not just go to the "Soldiers will turn gay without women," did she?

Matthew: Coupled with prison sodomy - I guess humans are so horny, they must do it with anything around.

Brad: Heaven help our army if they are trapped in the jungle and there's nothing around but Pandas.

Sent at 2:02 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Wait, did I hear her right, did she just say, "Justice Scalia was right"

Matthew: get your coats, hell is experiencing a cold front!

Sent at 2:05 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Wait, did she just disagree with the supreme court?

Matthew: weirder still, I think she just agreed with Rehnquist

Brad: I'm just waiting for her to announce, "By the y'all, I'm a dude."

She's going to rip off a mask, Mission impossible style and surprise, it really is George Lopez.

Sent at 2:10 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Is it me, or when she imitates a military voice, does it sound like Gollum?

Matthew: Dude - she said law - I think thats the first time this class

Brad: No, I think she did it once before, I was so surprised I accidentally closed my freecell game.

Sent at 2:14 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Oh, look who has an idea, SURPRISE SURPRISE

On the bright side, it's 50 minutes into class and we still haven't gone gay.

er...

started talking about gender orientation cases.

Matthew: when the teacher repeats your question - then you know you just said something SUPER stupid.

Wow - she really really hates men

Brad: Why aren't there any good all female schools in Las Vegas? Cause it'd be way too hot.

Sent at 2:18 PM on Tuesday

Matthew: If she can't cite to a case, if the doctrine hasn't been developed, it probably won't be on the bar and therefore it definitely belongs in this class.

Brad: I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, have we gotten to statutory rape yet?

Okay, student in the back row is violating the 3 comments per class rule.

Sent at 2:23 PM on Tuesday

Brad: So, now we're talking about how there are more girls than boys in college. Why is that a problem?

Matthew: Refer to previous "males cannot function with females present" comment

Brad: I say the more chicks the better. Wider dating pool.

Sent at 2:26 PM on Tuesday

Brad: Wait, who just said there are no sports for women?

What about foxy boxing?

How is that not a sport?

Matthew: I do believe that money is thrown about in jello wrestling.

Brad: Pole dancing is not exactly the chess club my friend.

Matthew: If girls are smarter than boys, she is not living proof.

Because why wouldn't we talk about biology in a Constitutional law class?

Brad: At last, statutory rape.

Wait, they prosecute teens for fornication? What state is this case from.

This happened in California? Crap, the whole cast of the O.C. is going to jail.

Matthew: Sex for a boy under 18 is not rape, its called a fantasy.

Brad: Apparently the purpose of this law was to prevent teen pregnancy. This probably explains why there are hardly any teen pregnancies in California.

Matthew: Yea! The law works!

Brad: Is that her phone that just rang?

Matthew: It sounded like a soundtrack to emphasize her point.

well played Lazos, great showmanship.

Sent at 2:42 PM on Tuesday

Brad: This is the most boring conversation of rape ever.

Matthew: Who knew rape could be so boring. Man, TV lied to me again.

Brad: Please someone drag this discussion out further,

Anything is better than getting the Gay lecture.

Oh snap, she's going to once again, "Get you to see the other side"

That means, "Insult your beliefs and call you a bigot."

Matthew: Is that like organizing a trade to the other team?

Brad: yikes, is there a gay draft?

Matthew: If you get picked, do you have to sign?

Brad: Can we trade Britney Spears and get Kevin Spacey back?

Kaiser Sose should be all man.

Wait, we will give them Kevin Federline and Pete Wentz, and a future first round pick, if they will give us back Ian McCellan. Gandalf should not be gay.

End of Class