Writer's Strike

Unless you have been hiding under a rock somewhere, or have a productive life and watch no TV, you probably know that the Writer's Guild is on strike and that pretty much every TV program with the exception of reality TV, is going into hiatus soon. You might also know, that the central issue in the strike has been royalties from internet revenues, a widely unknown and undeveloped field. Like most people, I thought that sounded reasonable and I supported the writers and thought the studios were being particularly greedy. But, then I found out what the writers are really demanding.

While people generally agree that the internet revenues is a legitimate issue, that is not the only thing on the writers' list of demands. There are a whole host of other issues that are ridiculous and that the Union has obstinately refused to drop. First, and foremost on the stupid list is the demand for a right to hold a sympathy strike when other unions go on strike. What management in its right mind would ever grant this right to anyone, especially in a union as far left as the Writer's Guild? Hollywood could shut down every time there was a major labor dispute in the country. Next, the Guild wants the right to unionize and have authority over Reality Television writers. Let's not even go into the contradiction in terms that is "reality television writer." Reality TV is pretty much going to be 99.100% of the spring TV lineup. Why? Because their writers are still working during the strike. That's right, the Guild wants the power to Lord over the very scabs who are offering the networks an alternative to caving to guild demands. Know what else? The reality writes don't even WANT to be part of the Writer's Guild. Why does the union keep insisting on this as a prerequisite to negotiations?

Think that's bad? Wait, there's more. The Guild also wants jurisdiction over animation writers, who also, get this, don't want to be part of the Writer's Guild. That's right, the reason that Jack Bauer will not be making the world safe for democracy this year is that the Writer's guild wants to have authority over the guys who write Toy Story 4. I'm not making this up. The Guild has absolutely refused to give in on these ridiculous and altogether excessive demands. The other side, not being stupid, realizes that there is only one legitimate issue here, and it's going to wait and make a deal with the Director's Guild, which will almost certainly be far more reasonable and not toss in insane requirements to have authority over areas that don't want their leadership anyway. Once a deal is in place with the DGA, the Writers' union will almost certainly have to accept a similar deal on internet revenues, which means that any continuation of the strike would be for these pointless side demands and the writers would look stupid.

I support writers, I really do, but their Union negotiators are WAY off base and they should be dumped in favor of a group who want to get a deal done, and are willing to give in on demands that are clearly asinine.

One more thing. The big story that no one is talking about, is that if the shows don't go back into production by a certain time, the actors all get released from their contracts. That's right, every actor, every show. If you don't think that's going to affect some of the shows you watch, think again. What happens if Jack from LOST decides that he hates the show and doesn't want to come back? What then? I totally support the idea that writers should get a piece of "new media" revenues, but their other demands are ridiculous and they should drop them.

Ken Jennings Op-Ed

For those who still haven't seen it, My Brother Dave's old College Bowl friend, Ken Jennings, wrote an op-ed about the continued slander of the LDS church by politicians. Most people probably know Jennings from his lengthy stint on Jeopardy. He makes good points and the article is highly readable and I recommend it to all.

http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2007/12/19/2007-12-19_politicians__pundits_please_stop_slander.html

My Dream is Dead

I've been thinking bout this for the past couple of days, and I've been resisting the urge to blog about it. See, the thing is, something happened and it absolutely pissed me off. I mean it totally ruined my day, my month, and quite possibly my year. I thought maybe it wasn't as bad as I felt it was at the time. I thought maybe I would get over it, but it is now clear to me that it just hurts more as time goes on. It seems like this has sucked all the joy out of my life and there are times during the day when I get so mad and/or depressed about it I just don't know if I can go on.

I'm talking of course about the Dolphins win over Baltimore on Sunday. That win brings to an end my dream of seeing the Dolphins running the table in reverse and being the first team to lose every game in a season. It was my hope and dream to see a team do it, and I thought, I really thought that the Dolphins had it in them. I let myself believe it. I was wrong to let myself hope, I was wrong to ever have a dream.

It hurts even more knowing that they were so close. Baltimore gave the Patriots one of their hardest wins of the season and looked like they could compete when they wanted to. Sure, they hadn't won in 7 games and their team is mostly washed up, but still, they should have been able to put away the fins, especially with a ten point lead at half time. Then, the Dolphins just had to keep doing what they had been doing, and kept believing in themselves, and they could have easily lost to New England and Cincinnati. That's what hurts the most, they were so close. It's like they had it in their grasp and let it slip a way. How could you do this to me guys? How could you do this? In a season where we've found out most of our sports heroes were frauds, where it turns out that Barry Bonds skull did not just change shape magically for no reason, and where we find out that pitchers can't continue to throw 90 mph fastballs into their mid forties without extralegal help. In a season where it turns out that the NFL's most overrated quarterback goes to jail for a crime unrelated to murder or drugs, and a B-grade player can't even throw money around in a strip club without causing a shooting, the NFL needed to give us something to believe in, and we've just been robbed. Part of me knows we will never be this close again. There will never again be a team this dreadful. This is as close as we were ever going to get and the Dolphins blew it.

Let me ask you something, Miami Dolphins, what gives you the right? What gives you the right to get me to believe you can't succeed, and then you go out there and actually try? Where do you get off actually trying to do what you are paid to and win a football game. And let me ask the Ravens something; 4th and goal on the one yard line? And you kick the field goal?!?!!? What are you thinking? Brian Billick, what went through your mind? "Sure, we're a yard away, and the quarterback sneak has never actually failed in this situation, but I like our chances of somehow winning a coin toss, taking the ball down the field, and then kicking the ball from much further down the field in overtime. I like those chances much more." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!

The moral of this story children is don't dream. Don't ever believe that great things can happen, cause they won't. Don't ever believe in destiny, because Brian Billick will take a crap on it. And don't ever let your inner child get excited about anything, because the Miami dolphins will try to touch it in inappropriate places. Wishes don't come true, and dreams really are like rainbows; only idiots chase them.

Finals Ruminations

Once again I managed to survive finals. The past two weeks have been obscenely stressful, but thanks to hard work and my recent rediscovery of Jolt Caffeinated Chewing Gum, I made it through. I also discovered that my insomnia, which is normally a nagging problem during the rest of the year, is an unmanageable soul sucking infirmity during a period of high stress such as finals. Between Wednesday, Thrusday, and Friday nights of this past week, I may have managed a grand total of 15 hours of sleep, and it wasn't from lack of effort. Apologies to anyone who saw me this week and thought I looked or acted like a zombie. And yes, that 15 hours was WITH the help of sleeping pills. If finals this semester taught me anything, it's that I should never take 4 finals in one semester again. That rule is right up there with my No Friday Classes rule. I've got my winter scheduled worked out to where I only have to take one final. Fingers crossed, I might actually pass it.

Here is the rundown on the tests and how they went. I can't put specific questions up, because apparently, that is an honor code violation. Also, I reserve the right to withdraw any compliments I give to teachers who end up giving me a bad grade, or insult to teachers who end up giving me a good grade.

WILLS, TRUSTS, AND ESTATES.

What can I say, Prof. Brown you are a stud. The class was great and the test was pretty straightforward. Time was close, but reasonable. Sadly, everyone in that class is smarter than me and there is a forced curve.

Predicted grade: B-

CON LAW

This test was just hell. Someone said that the professor stated that it was the easiest test she ever wrote. I would hate to have seen a hard test, because this one was brutal. There just was not enough time to cover everything. You can't write a two and half hour exam and then put enough material in there that students would have to write for four hours to cover everything. I know some teachers write long exams and don't expect the students to cover more than a third of what's there, but that seems silly to me and it is discouraging to students. My only real complaint with the final was time, however, this final also included one of my pet peeves.

Teachers, Professors, Instructors, Lend me your ears. When you say there will be three questions on a test, that implies that students will only have to answer THREE QUESTIONS. When we start writing the first question, and we are budgeting our time, we do so thinking, "only two more questions after this, so I can spend ____ amount of time on this question and still have time for the other two." Then, you flip the page and see that question two is more than one question, each with different facts that take time to read and consider. Just because you call a page "question two" doesn't mean it's one question. If there are five questions on that page, you can't count that as one question. It counts as FIVE questions! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.

Other than that, not too bad; still beats last years contracts final. Or as I call it, "the Exam Equivalent of the shower scene in American History X."

Predicted grade: C-


EVIDENCE

It's always a bad sign when you have enough time to finish a law school exam. It means you probably missed the point of a question. Also, I ended up flipping a coin to answer one of the multiple choice questions, much to the amusement of the guy sitting next to me.

Predicted Grade: C

DEFAMATION

Last test and I spent roughly 5 hours studying for it. I have to be honest, I was so exhausted that I really didn't care what I got. I just wanted it to be over.

Predicted grade: C+

Post finals: People do different things to celebrate finals. Most of my classmates went off and got drunk. I went to the running trail and ran 17 miles, then went and got a pizza. I guess I just have a different definition of cutting loose. Anyway, it was a fantastic run, and the Pittman Wash looks pretty amazing at sunset, which was right about the time I finished. At the end of the run, I think I was the worn out I have ever been.

That's my report on finals. Stay tuned this week for the exciting tales of my visit to Utah and Danny's surgery. I'm hoping to blog semi-regularly through the rest of the break.

Which Candidate should you vote for

The Presidential primaries are almost here and we've yet to have a candidate emerge as someone you can really feel comfortable about voting for. At last count, there were roughly 65,000 candidates or so and everyone of them has a different position on the various issues our nation is facing, so how do you know which one is most in line with your views? On radio station compiled a list of the candidates and their positions on various issues. They have posted a quiz on their website and if you select which position you take on each issue it will show you which candidate is most in line with your views. If nothing else, it's a quick and easy way to see where everyone stands.

http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460

My holiday gift to you. The best of Jim and Dwight

The final running diary.

1:43:17 PM- Class is starting late today because we filled out evaluations. Most evaluations take 5 minutes. This one took 15. People had prepared notes and were giggling as they filled out the form. I’ve never seen this on a teacher’s evaluation.

1:46:21 PM- In case you were wondering, most of the rough draft review I posted on the 6^th of November made it onto the review I turned in.

1:47:00 PM- This is our last class, so there will probably be no more running diary for the rest of the year. I’ll still be posting, with the exception of the first two weeks in December when I’ll be too occupied with finals to post.

1:49:35 PM- Today’s class topic: Hate Speech. I’m guessing we’ll be hearing strong language yet again, even though Prof has been asked to please tone down the language.

1:50:35 PM- Prof is looking a little rattled. Maybe it’s because it’s never a good sign when your students take 20 minutes to fill out your performance review.

1:51:44 PM- It’s possible that the Prof may try and actually teach today, in a last ditch effort to make up for an entire semester spent on political proselyting rather than legal instruction.

1:53:33 PM- Class has taken a turn for the boring so I thought I’d take a second and talk about the democratic debate that is taking place on campus today. On the plus side I’ve gotten two free shirts out of the debates, so I’m pretty cool with it so far. On the minus side, traffic around campus has been a nightmare, campus has been crawling with hippies, and the thought of being in close proximity to someone as clearly insane as Dennis Kucinich and his supporters makes me lose sleep. I tried to get a ticket to the event but was unsuccessful, so I’m going to go try and gate crash the debate later. I’ll probably blog about the event later. I’m also going to try and get interviewed by CNN. Caleb told me earlier that I might have a shot of getting interviewed because my bushy and disheveled hair makes me look like a pothead. Really, my hair is not that long, and not that disheveled.

2:00:22 PM- A girl in the front row that the prof. hates keeps raising her hand…and keeps getting ignored. Ironically, this comes during the part of the lecture in which the Professor is talking about how it is wrong for the government to silence ideas it doesn’t agree with.

2:04:35 PM- Wow, we might make it through class without anyone getting called on.

2:05:15 PM- Prof. is talking really fast. You’d think the Nazi party was going to break down the door any minute and cart everyone off to concentration camps.

2:08:16 PM- Class is now talking about those cars that run around during elections blaring music attempting to convince you to vote for a candidate who will almost certainly embezzle public funds to pay for high quality cocaine and hookers. I’ve never seen them hear in the states, but they are all over Brazil. I’m not going to lie, I miss them. They had some kicking tunes. Far better than anything MTV is playing these days. I’ll go so far as to say they were better tunes than anything Pete Townshend came up with after he quit using drugs.

2:11:05 PM- The only student to have spoken so far is hippie liberal girl. She basically just agreed with the professor. No offense girl, but I hear enough liberal nonsense in this class, I don’t need it in surround sound.

2:11:21 PM- Scratch that, another student forced his way in by wisely not waiting to be called on to speak. Well played kid in the front row.

2:15:22 PM- We’re now talking about whether the people passing out fliers for hookers out on the strip can be stopped under the first amendment. There’s no way that law would get passed with Democratic Presidential Candidates in town. They may look serious on TV, but the minute they hit the strip they are going to let loose and you know it. I only wish Vegas would take bets on which candidate gets caught with a hooker after the debate tonight. Seriously, wouldn’t you have Dodd paying off at 2:1? Biden at 3:1, and Clinton at a 5:7? Is there any reason why this hasn’t happened? I fully expect to see a video clip of at least one of the candidates reenacting the orgy seen from Zoolander, complete with midget Vikings up on youtube by this time tomorrow.

2:20:48 PM- For the first time this semester the Prof. asks if there are any questions or if we need clarification on anything. Oh yeah, she’s panicking about those reviews. Why are you trying to make up for it now? They’re turned in and we aren’t taking anything back. If they give you tenure after those reviews, they may as well give the finger to each and every student at the law school.

2:27:27 PM- Wow, the only thing more excruciatingly boring than this class normally, is this class when the Prof. is trying to teach and thus make up for a semester spent thumbing her arrogant bigoted nose at all of us. Why try now? Go for the perfect losing season. That’s like the Miami Dolphins actually trying to win a game this year. Don’t do it Dolphins. Don’t put Beck in on Sunday. Don’t you dare try and show up and actually play with heart and purpose, you will crush my hopes and dreams.

2:34:41 PM- I had such high hopes that something absolutely crazy would happen today in class, but no luck so far.

2:37:42 PM- This is so freaking boring. I feel like I’m trapped in an episode of the Office where Michael Scott gets replaced by someone competent.

2:38:59 PM- Still hardly anyone has been called on. This class has been a straight up lecture. It’s official ladies and gentlemen, the Socratic method is dead. Funeral services will be held on December 8. Please wear black and be prepared to share a treasured memory.

2:42:36 PM- I’m this close to actually learning something. It’s like my whole world is coming crashing down. This is like finding out the Tooth Fairy runs drugs or the Easter Bunny molests children. It is just destroying everything I thought I could count on. What’s next? A beloved sports hero murdering his wife and a local waiter? Oh, wait…

2:49:35 PM- Now we’re talking about the Hare Krishna’s in the airport. I fell this is a good time to mention that George was by far the most talented Beatle and his solo stuff was better than anything Paul or John ever came up with in their solo careers. Paul, I’m still waiting for you to apologize for Wings. You know where to find me. I’m not calling you “Sir Paul” until you do.

2:52:34 PM- And we get our last “Are you with me?” of the semester. This must be how it felt when Stalin shot a dissenter for the last time.

2:54:09 PM- One more minute of class.

2:55:02 PM- And we are officially overtime.

2:55:42 PM- And we made it. It’s over!

The Tuesday Diary

1:30:29 PM- Welcome to today’s class, where knowledge comes to die.

1:30:52 PM- Today’s class is on Defamation, a subject that I actually know something about. I have an entire class on the subject, and the teacher in that subject is extremely competent. This should be interesting.

1:32:18 PM- Two minutes into class and I’ve just caught the professor saying something isn’t true. I’m starting to feel really good about the bar exam.

1:34:43 PM- In case you are wondering, today’s class did not feature a lengthy heartfelt apology for the Professor’s conduct in the last class, namely going out of her way to offend people. Faithful readers may recall that the author walked out of that class.

1:38:51 PM- Professor has a continuum of Libel standards written on the board. The only problem is that it’s not correct. I never realized how incomptetent our Prof was until she started talking about a subject I know something about.

1:40:15 PM- Prof. pronounces Jay Leno’s name as “Gee Lean-O.” You can’t make this stuff up.

1:43:37 PM- The current case involves inaccuracies in an article by the New York Times. The Times got something wrong? Really? I would have expected more from a newspaper that has repeatedly been shown to be biased and inaccurate.

1:46:52 PM- Prof. mispronounces the word “verdict.” Just incredible.

1:48:47 PM- Class has slipped into a really boring moment, so I’m going to take a second to say that last night’s HEROES was once again awesome. The only real disappointment was Kristen Bell. I just don’t like her character. It’s not her fault, I place this one squarely on the writers. I really wish that she’d taken the offer to appear on LOST, where the writing and dialogue are just better in general. Other than that, it’s been a remarkable return to form. Only three episodes left, stupid writers’ strike!

1:49:13 PM- Prof. Mispronounces the word verdict, yet again. Say it with me, VER-DICKED. Not VEER-A-DICKED.

1:54:59 PM- Does a joke by David Letterman constitute Libel? No, it constitutes proof that he’s a shell of his former self and that Conan is Funnier. Plus, Conan has Triumph.

1:59:22 PM- And once again, she mispronounces Jay Leno’s name. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard at this point.

2:02:41 PM- Professor mispronounces “self-censorship” as “self-censure-ship”

2:03:54 PM- And she keeps mispronouncing Jay Leno’s name. Every student in the class who’s still awake is biting their lip to keep from laughing

2:05:30 PM- How do you mispronounce Jay Leno’s name? He performs on the strip several times a year. The commercials are all over the place.

2:08:14 PM- Is it libel to call Tom Cruise nuts and just plan crazy? No, truth is an absolute defense to a libel suit.

2:09:17 PM- Turns out Liberace used to sue people who called him gay. I’m sorry but that’s funny. If you can’t call Liberace gay, can you also not say the sky is blue? Grass is green? Hillary Clinton is an evil automated robot bent on ruling the universe and taking your money?

2:11:27 PM- Professor has a picture of Liberace on the overhead. Wow, nothing says Heterosexual Male quite like sequins, feather boas, and a pink Rhinestone suit. You just look at him and think, “Straight as a Ruler.” And the fur lined cape? Nothing manlier.

2:17:28 PM- We’re now talking about the Gertz case, which I practically memorized for Defamation Class. Let’s see if she gets anything wrong in his case.

2:19:32 PM- Jake points out that the ration of Mormons called on verses Non-Mormons called on is running 6:1. I guess I should start trying to think of something witty or ridiculous to say so that she’ll move on quickly.

2:22:14 PM- We’re talking about whether people listen to celebrities when they tell you who to vote for. That’s a big yes on my part. I do what Oprah says, no questions asked. Don’t you hate on my Oprah.

2:24:20 PM- And we’re back on Gertz, and the Professor is completely misstating the facts of the case. Wow, did she even read this case? How can someone be so wrong?

2:28:57 PM- Prof. Scharff, after seeing your subject taught be someone far less intelligent and talented than you, I have even greater respect for you. You are awesome and I am eternally grateful for your Defamation Class.

2:32:08 PM- Class has lapsed into another boring moment, so I thought I’d take this time to point out that Mitt Romney is going to be in Nevada on Saturday and I’m going to see him. I’m going to ask him if he feels sorry for knowing how to speak French. Some people won’t vote for him because he’s Mormon, but I’m far more concerned that he might have sympathies with the Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys having served a mission in France.

2:35:36 PM- You laugh, but one of the things that brought down John Kerry was the remark by someone that he “looked French.”

2:36:12 PM- John Kerry was also hurt by the fact that he’s a terrible human being in general.

2:37:55 PM- Prof. offers a hypo in which someone publishes an article in which they say she is a terrible teacher and is incompetent. Can she sue for libel? No, truth is an absolute shield to a defamation suit.

2:39:04 PM- Also, if you aren’t free to say that this professor is incompetent and terrible, I’m going to get in a lot of trouble for this blog. It’s kind of been the main idea of most of these running diaries. Except in a few instances when I called my classmates were incompetent and terrible.

2:47:26 PM- and I’m called on. Shoot.

2:50:59 PM- Oh crap, I actually know the answers. She may have a heart attack.

2:52:20 PM- No signs of a heart attack yet.

2:53:35 PM- Student asked question, Prof is answering, and she’s answering WRONG!!!!

2:53:55 PM- Class is over.

1:32:07 PM- Class is starting late, this promises to be a good day.

1:32:30 PM- Today’s class is on fighting words and possibly hate speech. I’m guessing there will be a LOT of swearing.

1:33:33 PM- One minute into class and we have dropped our first F-Bomb. That’s right, one minute into the class and we are PG-13. Yippee Ki-ai-ay.

1:36:47 PM- Prof. makes the remark “This may be ambiguous.” For some strange reason her voice sounds like an even mixture of Gary and Ace.

1:38:57 PM- For those who aren’t up on their turn of the century SNL, that last entry was an ambiguously gay duo reference.

1:40:26 PM- Another F-bomb. Class is now rated R.

1:41:37 PM- This class is not in line with the standards set forth in the “For the Strength of the Youth” pamphlet.

1:42:33 PM- First time this session, “Are you with me?” For the one hundred thousandth time, 50 students silently scream “NO!”

1:45:07 PM- 3^rd F-Bomb. I may need to talk to my bishop after class today.

1:47:46 PM- We’re now on George Carlin’s 7 words you can’t say on television.

1:48:26 PM- Oh great, she’s playing the routine.

1:48:53 PM- Right, I’m walking out.

2:01:27 PM- And I’ve come back. The class has moved on to something called Dial-A-Porn.

2:04:02 PM- Caleb and Jake think I should have gone to the Dean and complained. Next time I walk out that’s where I’m going.

2:06:29 PM- We’re talking about the warning that comes up when you dial a 976 number (apparently they have warnings). One student insists they exist and says, “If you don’t believe me, let’s call one right now.” I respond, “You have one on speed dial?”

2:08:20 PM- We’re now talking about the Communcations Decency Act, a Clinton law from 1996 that imposes controls on internet pornography. In case you are wondering, that is why you can no longer find pornography on the internet.

2:09:34 PM- Communications Decency act also helps keep sexual predators off the internet. Thanks to this act, there have never been sexual deviants on myspace.

2:13:37 PM- Wait, the Prof. is now trying to say that there IS pornography on the internet. Nice try prof., but when Bill Clinton solves a problem, it stays solved. He tackled AIDS and now it is cured, he tackled Welfare and now no one lives below the poverty line, he tackled Baseball and now it is a beloved sport with record ratings and is completely free of scandal, and he tackled terrorism and we’ve had no problems with it since. How dare you attempt to defame that great man!

2:16:28 PM- Crap, liberal hippie girl has a comment.

2:16:45 PM- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2:17:18 PM- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2:18:38 PM- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2:18:48 PM- “Are you with me?”

2:18:57 PM- And now we are on hate speech. Life gets better and better.

2:20:39 PM- Apparently there are several kinds of hate speech.

2:21:31 PM- Apparently, there are laws against burning a lower case T on someone’s yard.

2:23:03 PM- Current case involves the Nazi Party going to a Jewish Community to make a pro-Hitler display. Sounds like Christmas at Mel Gibson’s house.

2:25:23 PM- The name of the town in question is Skokie. Prof. asks, Why did they choose Skokie. Brad postulates that it had nothing to do with the Jewish population, but rather because Nazi’s are all secretly Homosexuals and Skokie is the gayest name of all time.

2:31:15 PM- Kid in the back who thinks he knows everything feels the need to educate us all on the 1939 American Nazi Party. I really hope I get a better grade than that guy. He’s the same one who dropped the “polygamists were never persecuted” knowledge on us earlier this semester.

2:33:45 PM- Hippie girl gives another rambling comment. I realize we have free speech, but some people abuse the privilege.

2:37:21 PM- You abuse the right to free speech, you’re considered a loudmouth. You abuse the right to bear arms, you are considered a psycho. How is that fair?

2:39:33 PM- Should we impose civil liability on hate speech? I don’t know because Jake and I are talking about where the F-word came from, which is 100 times more interesting than the class discussion.

2:44:02 PM- According to wikipedia, no one knows where the word comes from. The Christian version of wikipedia says it came from Satan to turn people into homosexuals.

2:45:06 PM- Class is talking about the Jena 6.

2:46:52 PM- Now we’re talking about a Christian church that protested the funerals of soldiers, holding signs that said “Thank God your son is dead.” Apparently they believe America is being punished for allowing homosexuals and every soldier who dies proves how wrong America is for tolerating gays. They’re meeting with God at judgment day should be quite the discussion. It always amazes me that people can so fervently read the bible and yet completely miss the point. Let this be a lesson to everyone on the importance of continuing revelation and a modern day prophet.

2:51:45 PM- We’re now discussing Hate Crimes. This begs the question, what is exactly is a Love Crime?

2:53:14 PM- Why is beating up a white kid not a symbolic expression? Because everyone hates white kids. I hate white kids and I’m the whitest man alive.

Faculty Evaluation

The following is the actual questions of our faculty evaluation and my projected responses in one class.

1) List one or two major strengths of your intructor:

Professor has the ability to say the most ludicrous and flat out idiotic things and maintain a straight face. Does that count as a strength?

2) List one or two areas that need improvement:

There are so many areas that need improvement it is hard to pick just two. This whole class was a disaster. The class is poorly planned and even more poorly executed. Her knowledge of the subject can be described as lacking at best. She often says things in class that are flat out wrong and frequently substitutes her own opinion for legal doctrine.

Further, over one third of our grade is NOT ANONYMOUSLY GRADED. This appears to be a tremendous violation of ethical standards at worst, and at best, gives the appearance of impropriety.

Please Comment on the Following:

-Textbook and Materials

This textbook is rubbish. A dreadful waste of trees. The authors should be ashamed. There is very little useful material and it is buried under layers of useless and unhelpful commentary. Why would a professor assign both a textbook and the Hornbook? If a textbook is so incomprehensible that it cannot be understood without the hornbook, why bother having the textbook? Just assign the hornbook instead.

-Reading assignments

The book is incomprehensible, as mentioned above. The reading often had very little to do with class discussion. The length was often ridiculous and one is forced to wonder if the Professor realizes that students have more than one class. Professor ROUTINELY sent out emails assigning extra material often doubling already unreasonably lengthy assignments. Often times this material turned out to be useless, and in no way related to an understanding of the subject. Professor often required students to engage material that had no other purpose than to proselyte students to the Professor's personal political agenda. It's not that there is anything wrong or disagreeable with her politics, it's that I object to political indoctrination at the expense of a subject that will be on the bar.

-Clarity of Lessons-

Absolutely unclear. Expectations of students were vague. Students were often asked questions and were left fumbling around trying to figure out what the professor wanted to hear. Students were never asked to give the facts of the case, and we never really learned any law. Usually, class took the form of a professor's lecture, mixed with a political rant, then students were asked their feelings or reaction to whatever was said.

-Class discussion-

Inexcusably bad. Students were allowed time to say idiotic things in no way related to the subject at hand. Students were often free to riff on political subjects, unless the Professor didn't agree with the political stance, in which case they were cut off so other students could express the opposite viewpoint. Professor often targeted students for comment when she knew they didn't agree in general with what she was saying. Every single time I went to this class I felt I had wasted my time and felt like I had been cheated out of a legal education.

-Instructor's Availability.

I would chop off my own right arm before I would go see this Professor for help. The readings were a waste and her class was a mess. Why would any one on one time be any better? Professor complained about no one going to see her for help, apparently not realizing that going to her office for help was as inviting a prospect as having Michael Jackson babysit your children.

-Professor's respect for individual differences including gender, race, and ideology.

Professor is a bigot who lets her own political views bleed into her class. She openly advocates certain viewpoints and then dares you to oppose her. I felt my personal beliefs were insulted in this class, and I felt targeted in class because I disagreed with the professor. I will never take a class from this professor again, and can't believe someone so incompetent and flat out bad could ever get a job as a professor. I know at least one student who dropped down to part time just to avoid having this class from this professor. Frankly, he made a good choice. She is awful, awful, awful. Giving her tenure could only be labeled as a HUGE mistake.

The Thursday Running Diary.

1:32:12 PM- Class has been going on for 5 minutes already and I didn’t notice. It’s that stimulating.

1:32:42 PM- Today’s class will involve us going over the hypothetical situations that we talked about in our groups last time. I’ve mostly blocked out the last class so the results should seem fairly new.

1:34:01 PM- The room we are in is roughly a thousand degrees, which means they still didn’t fix the air conditioning system. That’s good though, because now the class will feel even more like Hell on Earth than before. Also adding to the metaphor is the fact that the classroom reeks of B.O. and imitation cheese. Apparently the 1L’s had an optional mandatory meeting during lunch. Judging by the smell, they were served the Law School’s standard meal: Hell Pizza. The Pizza basically tastes like Styrofoam, but lacks the nutritional value. Basically, the Law School Pizza is the culinary equivalent of a terrorist attack. If Osama Bin Ladin were to make a recipe book, this pizza would be on the cover with “Death To Infidels” spelled out in pepperoni. I swear it is that bad.

1:40:53 PM- We’re now talking about why we allow people to say things that are offensive. Answer: If we didn’t, Law School Professors would never talk.

1:42:36 PM- A student is currently under fire. He is asked for his opinion…wait, he’s trying to say he has no opinion.

1:43:06 PM- Prof. won’t allow it. She’s forcing him to have an opinion.

1:43:22 PM- Now the student is being forced to explain the rationale behind the opinion he doesn’t have and didn’t want to share.

1:44:01 PM- Prof. says, “I don’t want to belabor the point.” Too late.

1:45:41 PM- Prof. asks for volunteers and doesn’t get any. Crap, she seems upset about it. We may get chewed out later.

1:48:25 PM- Prof. now has Jake under the gun. I’m begging you Jake, say something right-wing and piss her off.

1:48:56 PM- still hoping…

1:49:30 PM- Jake, you’re killing me. I’m still hoping…nope, doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.

1:50:52 PM- Is it legal for an ex-cop to teach people how to smoke dope and get away with it? Legal or not, it’s freaking hysterical.

1:52:49 PM- Prof. is now referencing something out of a supplement we were all supposed to buy, and on the first day of class, she told us all we could take it back because she would give us a Xeroxed copy. We never got Xeroxed copies, and the bookstore refuses to take them back. And people wonder why students get frustrated with professors.

1:56:19 PM- Jake is back under the gun.

1:56:32 PM- Professor pronounced the word “quoted” and “coited.” I swear I’m not making this up.

1:57:07 PM- Jake argues that the government should stay out of our lives. And she didn’t have a problem with it. Biggest disappointment since Superman Returns turned out to be Superman Returns and learns to sigh and cope with an extremely boring plot.

2:00:02 PM- We are now talking about a case where a man published a how-to manual on how to murder people. Is there a Dummies book on this?

2:00:35 PM- Prof. says, for the 80,674^th time this semester, “Are you with me?” This must be turned into a drinking game.

2:01:34 PM- Next case- Orgasms to Death. I swear I’m not making this up. Good to see my tuition money is being well spent.

2:06:08 PM- Quick Amazon search reveals that there are no Dummies books on Murder. How sad. In other news, class is still talking about “Orgasms to Death.” The case apparently involves something called “autoerotic asphyxiation.” Apparently a lot of people in the class are familiar and have strong feelings on the subject. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the future law-makers of the State of Nevada.

2:09:32 PM- Still on autoerotic asphyxiation. There better be a lot of questions related to self strangulation on the bar.

2:11:25 PM- Self strangulation sounds more attractive every minute this class drags on.

2:13:01 PM- One student raises their hand and says, “My real concern with this subject is hacking.” Some 14 year old kid apparently strangled himself to death while walking the dog and she’s concerned about hacking!?!? Maybe I’m crazy, but I find the kid who died way more disturbing than some kid who thinks he’s Neo.

2:16:24 PM- Frak. I’m on the hot seat. Question is whether a picture of a gun held to George W. Bush’s head constitutes a threat. I respond no, because it’s not a real gun and besides, it’s not a good picture of George Bush because it doesn’t capture his true Majesty and Regalness. She promptly moves on to another student.

2:19:37 PM- In case you are wondering, I really did say that.

2:19:54 PM- And yes, I kept a straight face.

2:20:04 PM- New Case, A website published the home address and information of abortion doctors. Said doctors were later murdered. The court apparently felt that publishing their information was a threat.

2:24:29 PM- Prof. is pushing the class towards a discussion on abortion. She seems disappointed when the student she calls on turns out to be pro-choice. Sorry prof. not everyone in class is one of those pesky Mormons.

2:29:36 PM- Amazon search reveals that there are no dummies books for self asphyxiation either. There is a lengthy wikipedia entry on the subject. Who wrote that article? You may have too much time on your hands. Whoever you are, I’m begging you to invest some money in a Nintendo Wii, because your current hobbies are creepy.

2:32:39 PM- Prof. is asked a complicated question, she turns it around on the student and tells the student to go look up the answer. Heaven forbid she admit that she doesn’t actually know the answer cause she doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing.

2:34:42 PM- Dictionary.com says that in the legal world, the word incompetent is defined as follows: a person lacking power to act with legal effectiveness. Hmmm….

2:35:48 PM- Now we are talking about the patriot act. This should be a model of an evenhanded discussion.

2:37:02 PM- Prof. confesses to having visited Cuba. Thanks Castro.

2:37:32 PM- Dictionary.com defines bigot as follows: a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion. Hmmm…..

2:38:23 PM- A bunch of students who have never held a gun are now talking about whether a photo of flag draped coffins is damaging to troop morale. On an unrelated note, Dictionary.com defines arrogance as: offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride. Hmmm…..

2:41:33 PM- Apparently George Bush is trying to quash dissent, and is generally an all around evil man. Glad we cleared that up.

2:45:59 PM- There is now a small argument over whether today’s handout got passed out.

2:46:59 PM- Crap we are being out back into groups. Party and a half!

2:49:41 PM- My group is going to tackle the question of Flag Burning.

2:50:45 PM- Prof. has generously put the f-word on the handout numerous times. But she’s not trying to offend any of us. She’s just trying to get us to see both f---ing sides.

2:52:30 PM- Apparently the civil rights movement is inextricably linked to the things we’ve been talked about today. In other news, Flouride Toothpaste caused the Renaisance.

2:53:32 PM- Class ends early. We unenlightened souls rejoice.