Running Diary, part two.

Once again, a running diary from one of my classes. Probably the last one I'll do for a while. Here's how class went.

1:28:22 PM- Prof. Has decided to start class early, I'm guessing she will make up for it by dismissing us late.

1:30:08 PM- Prof. Essentially doubles our homework load for the weekend and laughs about it. Someone's car is getting keyed.

1:32:06 PM- Prof. asks "Why do you think I am giving you so much work on affirmative action?" At least a dozen students silently scream, "Cause you are the devil!"

1:34:20 PM- Prof. announces that our journals will be due November 15. In other news I will be typing a journal furiously on November 14.

1:39:23 PM- Our Professor explains how a hypothetical involving a very unflattering portrait of anti-gay activists is "based on an actual case." Good thing she captured the one-dimensional aspect of all people who oppose homosexuality who, as we all know, are hate filled homophobes who only speak shrill irrational epithets and are incapable of any kind of logical thinking.

1:42:12 PM- Our one sided hypo is being answered by Jake. Jake is fairly right wing so this should be good.

1:43:05 PM- The professors phone starts ringing. With luck it's her shrink telling her to pick up her lithium.

1:48:50 PM- We're still working our homosexual hypo. This could go on for a while.

1:49:52 PM- Prof. yells at Jake for not knowing an obscure case that she has "cited 3 times in class." Geez Jake, it's not like you have other stuff in your life that's more important than this class. Try to keep up, dude.

1:53:33 PM- She's finally off Jake's ass. Inku is the next victim.

1:54:08 PM- Inku commits Hari Kari and says he didn't do the journal entry. He gets off the hook in a matter of seconds. Inku gets points for being mad smart.

1:56:45 PM- Professor seems to be getting worked up. There could be an explosion before the end of class.

1:59:22 PM- Professor says "This could be a fun exam question." She has the same look in her eye that Jack Bauer gets before tearing off a terrorist's nipples with rusty pliers.

2:04:20 PM- Professor talks about how no one got the point she was trying to make when she used the hypo on a test. Most people in this situation might take this as a negative reflection on their teaching ability.

2:05:08 PM- Prof. wonders aloud, "Maybe I'm a bad teacher." 40 heads start nodding. Sadly, I'm pretty sure she didn't notice.

2:09:56 PM- 40 minutes of class, still no bar material.

2:11:24 PM- Prof uses the never before heard word "differentialis." I'm guessing that it is a combination of different and Cialis, two things I'm sure she's very familiar with.

2:12:45 PM- Someone mentions Kennedy and the Prof starts doing a dance. In other news, I finally found the only thing more scary than The Exorcist.

2:14:50 PM- Professor seemed to finally be willing to move on, and some student decided to ask a question and pull her back in. Thanks a lot, jackass. You are now the law school equivalent of a prison snitch. Go watch Oz and see what lies in your future.

2:18:18 PM- Someone mentions that the Republican Party has a lot of homosexuals in it. Maybe, but, "We don't got Britney, We don't got Lindsay Lohan…."

2:20:16 PM- Prof. is dancing again. This dance bears an uncanny resemblance to Elaine's dance from Seinfeld.

2:22:36 PM- Hold on, we may be getting into something that might be useful for the bar.

2:24:59 PM- False alarm.

2:25:55 PM- Prof. asks "How many women can lift 200lbs?" I'm feeling real good about my bar exam. That $27 grand in tuition? Money well spent because I am learning so many useful things.

2:27:25 PM- Prof asks, "How many men can lift 200 lbs?" There are a lot of pansies in this class.

2:32:06 PM- Professor places a tent over her head. We've officially left law school and entered a David Lynch film. Any moment now the room is going to be stormed by backwards talking midgets.

2:35:54 PM- Twenty minutes left and I'm still searching for something that could be useful on the bar. At this point, O.J. has a better chance of finding the real killer.

2:45:41 PM- It's soapbox time. That's the point where the Professor rails against the evils of humanity and I tune out and read tvguide.com's synopsis of tonight's Episode of the office.

2:47:47 PM- Professor mispronounces Rudy Giuliani's name. Class is too busy reading about tonight's episode of the Office to care. I really hope that Pam and Jim dating doesn't kill that show.

2:50:50 PM- Prof. asks "How many do not like poor people?" I don't. They don't pay their fair share of taxes, they get free health care, and they drive the price of cocaine way up. We'd be better off without them.

2:53:42- PM Professor again wonders why no one comes to see her in her office to work through a hypo. I can't speak for anyone else, but personally, I'd rather slit my wrists and do push ups in salt water.

2:54:47 PM- Class is over. Our long nightmare is over.