Live Earth

Some thoughts on live earth.

I admit it, I watched live earth. My verdict: three or four good performances and a lot of hypocrisy. I think like most people, I really couldn't care less about the political message behind live earth. I just watched it because there were a couple of good bands, but I'm not going to change my behavior because of it. I think it is stupid to think that it made any difference at all. Trying to get a bunch of idiot kids to stop polluting is largely ineffective and a waste of time. Assuming for a moment that climate change is real (it probably is, it's just overstated), the people at live earth were entirely the wrong audience. If everyone there suddenly decided to go green it still wouldn't make any difference. In fact, it wouldn't even begin to offset the pollution caused by hypocritical "enlightened" rock stars as they jet around the earth and live extravagant lifestyles. The fact is, that if you want people to go green, you have to create some incentive for them. People will naturally pollute less if you make it cheaper for them to do so. Otherwise, you can't blame them for polluting. So, let's have fewer concerts and let's work on making a car that doesn't pollute.

As far as the show itself, most of the acts absolutely sucked. I'd never heard of half of the acts, and if I've never heard of a band, they are REALLY flying below the radar. Most of the acts were pop acts that represent everything that people who really like music tend to hate. The non-teeny bopper acts weren't that cool, either. Sorry Al Gore, but just seeing Metallica on stage made me want to burn down a rainforest and eat a california condor. They haven't been cool since they decided to start suing their fans for having the audacity to want to hear their music. There's a special corner in Hell waiting for you, Lars Ulrich, sponsored by Napster.

Likewise, there is nothing impressive about a Madonna concert. Madonna hasn't been musically relevant for years. These days, she's more famous for being Madonna than for any music she's made. Why would anyone want to hear her sing? Also, how much of the ozone layer has been seared off by her flying back and forth to Africa to kidnap little bush children. By the way, when did african orphans become the beanie babies of the rich? Collect one from every disadvantaged country!

Fall Out Boy was there, and established themselves as the least photogenic band since Gwar. Talk about hopping on the bandwagon of rock excess. Moderation guys. Lead singer and guitarist both need to cut a few pounds, and Pete Wentz needs to be treated for tattoo addiction. If one were to judge, you'd think that showers were not required for playing at this show. The songs were good, but I seriously was so distracted by how bad these guys all looked that I hardly noticed the music. I'm begging you guy to get rehab.

As far as bright spots on the line up, there was John Mayer, who is a good enough guitarist that even shows that he phones in are worth watching, did some pretty good stuff. The Grandparents of the Beastie Boys were there and played a show. These guys have not found a way to age gracefully. MCA needs hair dye, badly. Meanwhile, Ad Rock and Mike D are still trying to look like teenagers and it's not happening. Sorry guys, but the 40 year olds on 90210 were more convincing teenagers than you guys.

Foo Fighters showed up and actually did a good job. Dave Grohl was probably the best showman there (more on that in a second) and I think it would be hard for them to play a bad show. Hero and Everlong were true standouts, However, these songs just showed how truly awful the rest of the bands were by comparison.

The most important event of the evening didn't seem to get any press. Yusuf Islam came out and played some of his former hits. Cat F---ing Stevens! That's right, he finally decided that Allah was cool with him playing music. Again, having someone that awesome just illuminated how dreadful everyone else on the bill was.

Ultimately, aside from being a tremendously pretentious failure, the most notable thing about live aid was the bands that didn't show up and play. U2, Radiohead, REM, Coldplay, Green Day, pretty much anyone who is both good AND who enjoyed mainstream success opted not to show up. Where were these guys? You'd think that any of them would have done a benefit concert for global warming. Likewise, where were all of the buzzworthy indie acts and more recent successes like Arctic Monkeys, The Fray, Bright Eyes, The Shins, The Killers, the Strokes, etc? Damien Rice was there, but let's face it, after his last album he'd be lucky to be invited to play at Borders, he wasn't going to turn down this gig. Where were the big name reunions? Led Zeppelin, Simon and Garfunkel, Rage Against the Machine, Cream, Genesis, ABBA, Wings, there are tons of bands who probably could have been convinced to reunite for a worthy cause and bring some publicity to the show. None of that happened. Dude, Gore, I will promise that every car I buy from here on out will be a hybrid, I will recycle everything, and I will install solar panels on my house, and urge all of my friends and family to do the same if you can convince Pink Floyd to reunite and play a set.

So basically, Live Earth was an uncompelling music festival, where the self-congratulating assembled to hear mostly dreadful music with the occasional flash of inspiration. Most of the really good activist bands skipped the show, there were no noteworthy reunions, and no performances by A list indie bands or hot contemporary bands (aside from the donut binged Fall Out Boy). Perhaps this show was the perfect metaphor for modern environmentalism. Bloated, hypocritical, largely unappealing and lacking in substance. Desperate to be taken seriously, but unable to muster many supporters with the street cred to generate widespread interest and intense consensus necessary to bring about change. If your purpose was to change the world Mr. Gore, you failed. If your purpose was to put on a good rock show, you failed miserably.