I believe...NBA edition

I believe...

The Jason Kidd trade is officially a bust.

Jason Kidd should face suspension for the flagrant foul on Wright.

Chris Paul should have been the MVP

Chris Paul was right, the Mavs ARE SOFT!!!

Avery Johnson will be cashing unemployment checks soon.

No one who supports hack-a-Shaq should be let anywhere near an announcing booth. I'm looking at you VanGundy. I was throwing things at the TV and it is your fault!

Tyler Perry is out to single handedly undo the civil rights movement.

Chris Webber might have a future in broadcasting.

Iron Man looks awesome.

No way to the Suns go four in a row.

It's not D'Antoni's fault he has no bench.

The Spurs are dirty and boring to watch.

They should start fining players for flopping.

Greg Popovich might be a great coach, but hack-a-Shaq is the very definition of poor sportsmanship and there should be fines associated with it.

ESPN should be prohibited from calling itself the World Wide Leader in Sports until it gets a decent announcing team. Abysmal. That's the word to describe what they have right now.

Steve Kerr may be available to announce games with Marv Albert next year

Charles Barkely should not be Governor of Alabama.

Magic Johnson is not good in the studio.

No one is watching Toronto vs. Orlando.

Gilbert Arenas is overrated.

TNT really wants you to watch the Closer.

The 76ers really need to beat Detroit. I hate the Pistons. Hate. Them. They won one ring, years ago, and they've been acting like they are the 85 Lakers ever since. News flash. You aren't that great. No one likes you and you are boring, BORING, to watch. The idea of a Pistons/Spurs final makes me want to gouge out my eyes with an ice cream scoop.

The Denver Nuggets do not belong in the playoffs.

The Celtics are not as invincible as people think.

If there is a Celtics/Lakers final, I may lose my job.



Okay, for all you LOSTies, here's my theory so far. Spoiler Alert.

Widmore was the Captain of the Black Rock. Ben kicked him off the Island and now Widmore can't find his way back, no matter how hard he tries. Ben left the Island on the time machine located in the Orchid station. That's why he didn't know where he was or what year it was. Locke was told by Jacob to kill Ben and that is why Ben left in the time machine. Jacob is the physical manifestation of the Island's will. Also, Michael was in the coffin, which raises the question, how could he have died?

Anyone else have thoughts?

Needy?

I posted this on my facebook profile, but here it is for everyone else to enjoy. Moral: keep your money or pay fast offerings so you know the money goes to someone actually in need.

Worst Crime Ever.

This is why capital punishment exists.

Link Here

Dear Danny

Good Luck with FINALS!!!!!

The Undertaker Sketch

Dedicated to fellow blogger, 84rkr, who has been feeling a bit dead lately. It's the infamous Monty Python "undertaker sketch" which I recently ran across and couldn't resist posting.

The Office is Back!!!

That's right kiddos. The office is going to start back up again. We've waited for months and I, for one, am excited. Just to give you a taste, here is the first scene.

Dear Darbley

So, I watched Dan in Real Life this weekend (I swear I didn't know Dane Cook was in it when I rented it). I really liked the movie and it got me thinking, why don't I write an advice column? How hard can it really be. Of course, no one writes me letters asking me for advice, so I figured for my first column, I'd just steal the letters from Dear Abby and show how I could give better advice than even the most well known advice columnist. So hear are Dear Abby letters, and my responses to them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a woman in Phoenix -- where we both lived -- for the past three years. We were in an exclusive relationship, but not living together because I was going through a divorce when we met. Throughout our time together I have helped "Jackie" with rent and cash gifts.

I have since moved to California, and Jackie would like to come and live with me. I thought it would be nice, but a cohabitation agreement would be necessary because I have a lot of assets and she has very few.

After some discussion, she came up with an agreement, but I feel the benefits package she's asking for is too high. She's asking me to pay all living expenses, housing, food, health insurance, a new car with auto insurance and an allowance of $3,000 a month.

I balked on this "deal" because it seems more like a rental agreement rather than a loving relationship. She maintains that she needs a "cushion" in case the relationship doesn't work out because she'll be leaving her job and friends behind.

My friends laugh when I tell them the terms of the arrangement. What are your thoughts? -- WAITING IN CAPISTRANO

Dude, What exactly is the difference between you and Elliot Spitzer? At least he knew he was paying for a hooker. Look, WIC, I'm not judging you, here in Vegas we have tons of hookers, it's no big deal. I'm just saying be honest with yourself. WIC, what is wrong with you that you have to pay a woman to be with you? Do you have a facial deformity? Look like the unholy offspring of Star Jones and the Elephant Man? There are literally thousands of women with low self confidence and poor self image that would pay to be with you! I suggest you find these women and date them. Try myspace, or clubs where they play emo music. The only cushion your current girlfriend needs is the one she lands on when you toss her high maintenance, gold-digging butt out.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has four siblings, all adults with families of their own. A little more than a year ago, my father-in-law, "Carl," asked Mom for a divorce. That's when we learned that their relationship had been going downhill for several years.

All of the "kids," especially my husband, have embraced Mom and shunned Carl. They say terrible things about him and his new girlfriend, "Angie," whom they refuse to meet. We hardly see Carl anymore, and the few times he has come to our home for dinner, my husband has made it clear that Angie is not welcome.

I don't pretend to know how it feels to have your parents split up after 40 years. I try to be understanding and supportive to my husband and his family. I have kept my opinions to myself, but I am frustrated with all of them. I'm certain Carl waited to end his marriage until after all his children were old enough to understand. I feel they need to make some kind of move to get past this. Is there anything I can do? -- KEEPING IT TO MYSELF IN PENNSYLVANIA

Dear KITMIP,

Let me ask you a question, how do you want your kids to treat the trashy skank your husband takes up with after he dumps you after 30 years of marriage? I'm guessing that you'd want your kids to throw molotov cocktails at her car while you spend his alimony checks on booze and a "pool boy". You know why they don't embrace Angie? Because they are secretly saving up money to pay for a hitman. The only move that is going to help your husband's family get past this is when Dad and the Floosie move to Florida with all of the other people who want to still feel young while driving 45 in the fast lane with their blinker on. The fact that you are worried about this tells me you have too much time on your hands. Come to think about it, what are you doing writing letters to Dear Abby. I suggest you get yourself back into the kitchen and make your hubby a sandwich, unless you want to have to spend your later years looking for a good "pool boy."

Why do I run?

Sometimes people ask my why I run so much.

I run because it's hard

I run because there are days that I'm angry

I run because there are days that I'm sad

I run because because there's part of me that doesn't think I'm strong enough to go the full distance, and I need to prove that part wrong.

I run because there are times it makes me nauseous.

I run because there are times it makes me sore.

I run because I think I'm weak

I run because I get runner's high and it makes it worth any pain.

I run because when I can barely move and I want to collapse is when I feel most alive

I run for all the times I felt frustrated, or disappointed, or unhappy.

I run because every moment my heart isn't beating at over 160 beats a minute, I feel like a sissy.

I run because I secretly suspect that I might be insane

I run because shin splints are imaginary.

I run because tendinitis is not as painful as I thought it was

I run because asthma will never control my life

I run because I hope to do a marathon on my 100th birthday

I run because I have no interest in video games

I run because when I hear the theme from chariots of fire, I've got to move

I run because I love it, and I'm hopelessly, endlessly addicted to it.

I run because it's part of who I am.