I believe...

I believe....

That Barry Bonds has raped the sport of baseball.

That Harry Potter 7 deserves a Pulitzer Prize

That DeNiro deserves an Oscar for Stardust.

That Hillary Clinton is a Robot.

That the Padres have a shot at the Wild Card even though they have no discernable hitting on their roster.

That Hinder are doing the songs Aerosmith would be doing if they were still alive.

That Lindsay Lohan's personal life is far more entertaining than any movie she has ever done.

That Mitt Romney is unelectable.

That Skip Bayless should not be allowed near a microphone.

That A-Rod will own the homerun record in 5 years.

That the Chargers will be forced to murder their coach before Thanksgiving.

That Larry Bird will be forced out of the Pacers front office, and that Doc Rivers will be suddenly fired, paving the way for Danny Ainge to Bring Larry Legend in as Celtics coach.

That Kobe Bryant will eventually be on trial for murder.

That male perms are going to be a huge fad before the year 2010.

That Osama Bin Laden is dead in a cave in Pakistan.

That George W. Bush and Bill Clinton will both be largely forgotten as unimportant Presidents.