First some business. Shout out to my homie Paul, who has turned me on to Ann Coulter quotes. They are so offensive that I can't help but appreciate them, even when they are both wrong and horrible. Plus, anyone who likes Mitt Romney can't be all bad.
Second, there have been requests for my take on the next Harry Potter. As far as the movie goes, I honestly am not all that psyched up about it. The movies are good, but the joy of the books is that they take place in a world that invites the reader to linger and explore. I like that the books are long because I like the world that Harry Lives in and enjoy my time there. The movies are too focused on telling the main plot line in under two hours and twenty minutes. The subplots that make the books so much fun are often left on the cutting room floor. My literary soul mate, Dobby, is essentially absent from most of the films. I like the films, and I will doubtlessly go see them but they're not a priority. Plus, the movies are a little different now that the actor portraying Harry is a porn star and Hermione is smoking hot. No way is she only 17. What is in the food on that movie set.
Now, book 7, on the other hand, I am counting the days. Don't expect any work out of me that week until I've finished reading it twice. I'm so psyched up, that I actually managed to build a time machine and travel to the future to read book 7. I've decided to share some of my impressions about the book. Warning, Contains Potential MAJOR SPOILERS.
Q: Deathly Hallows? WTF?
A: Has to do with the ministry of magic, that's all I'll say.
Q: Does Harry die?
A: Sort of.
Q: Is he alive at the end?
A: Yes.
Q: Does You-know-who die?
A: Yeah
Q: Does Harry kill him?
A: No.
Q: Ron and Hermione?
A: Still kicking.
Q: Ron and Hemione, do they, you know?
A: Married.
Q: Harry and Ginny?
A: Also Married. BTW, Ginny turns out to be very important.
Q: Does Harry go back to Hogwarts?
A: Yes.
Q: Do we get to meet Aberforth Dumbledore?
A: Let's just say that Aberforth, like most people nicknamed Abby, defines the phrase "Bad Mother (expletive)."
Q: Does Neville die?
A: Yep, sorry Neville, we hardly knew thee.
Q: Does Snape die?
A: Yes
Q: Did Dumbledore order Snape to kill him?
A: Affirmative.
Q: Did Dumbledore make the right decision trusting Snape?
A: Dumbledore is rarely wrong.
Q: Lupin, does he die?
A: Yes.
Q: Wormtail?
A: Mucho Dead.
Q: What happens to Draco Malfoy?
A: Draco's actions will surprise you. Turns out he mayhave been worth saving. He's left alive at the end.
Q: Was the ending good? Anti-climactic? More disappointing than a Lemony Snickett novel?
A: Deeply satisfying. All sugar bowls are fully explained, so to speak.
Q: What is the seventh Horcrux?
A: Don't you mean who?
Q: Was it Harry?
A: Nope, someone who has already died.
That's my predictions. I expect everyone else to start making theirs soon. Get Posting!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Harry Potter
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5 comments:
I don't know about Harry dying and not dying. I probably should re-read the potter books because I forgot who Neville was, and I thought Dumbledore was dead. Its been since finals in college that I've read them.
Anyways, I think that Harry and Voldemort will have an epic battle towards the end of the book. Epic. And Harry will come out triumphant.
Ah-Simms, you never fail me. I'm pretending that the Abby thing was written only for me.
I am still impressed by last books spoilers so I won't be surprised when all of your predictions come true.
And how can Smithfieldman not know who Neville is? He's a major character.
Interesting answer to the "will Harry die" question. I will have to explore it further.
Thanks again, I'll let you know if I have any major revelations. I should probably read all of the books again just to gear myself up.
I am still holding out for Hermione and Harry to realize that redheaded people need to be shunned and therefore ditch Ron and Ginny. I am just waiting for the Draco spin off books...you know you are as well, don't deny it.
You are welcome for the Ann Coulter lead. As I think I explained before, being witty is more important that being right. Sometimes she's wrong, but the libs have no one to match her wit - no, Al Franken is just stupid.
Nice Harry Potter predictions - your idea of the horcrux being someone other than Harry has me thinking.
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