Open Letter

Dear Barack Obama,

On behalf of the entire city of Las Vegas I would like to thank you for discouraging companies from sending their employees to Las Vegas. Thank you very much for taking billions of dollars out of the rapidly deteriorating Las Vegas Economy. Did you not seem to realize that when people spend money it helps the economy? Did you seriously rise to the highest office in the country without a rudimentary understanding of economics? Are you clueless to the fact that there are ways to stimulate the economy other than the government just randomly printing money? See, those people would have come to Las Vegas, and spent money on goods and services. The people who would have provided those goods and services would have then spent the money they received on more goods and services, and so forth. It's bad enough that you are on TV every night flogging this outrageous and ill conceived stimulus bill which will commit our nation to economic underachievement for the foreseeable future, but why do you feel the need to further embarass yourself by seeking to discourage tourism to Las Vegas, a town which anyone with approxamite IQ of granite knows relies heavily on tourism for its economy. Is it possible that the same man who criticized his predecessor for being a simpleton could be so mind-bogglingly beef-headed? Mr. President, are you seriously saying we must act with reckless abandon to mortgage the next 30 years of our treasury to save our economy at the exact same moment that you are telling people not to go and spend money in a town leading the nation in foreclosures and with double digit unemployment? Thank you very much for making Las Vegas an utter pariah in the business world, you unbelievable schmuck. Just please, never mention my town again. In fact, don't even visit this state. You are not welcome here, you pea-brained twit.

Mayor Goodman has asked for an apology, and I you owe it to this city. You've cost this town a great deal of money and jobs, and you have offended the city of Las Vegas, a city with numerous mob connections. Next time you want to score political points by making someone else look bad, please don't throw my city under the bus to do it.