Ron Paul

DownSize D.C.

The fine folks at DownsizeDC.org have a mighty fine post on why the president's proposed plan will not work. Downsize is one of our new favorite websites here at Simsisms. Link HERE.

No No No

I didn't watch the president's speech. Not because I wasn't interested, but because I knew from experience that I would end up throwing things at the television and frankly, in the Obama economy I can't afford to break my television.

I have read the reports on the speech and I just cannot fathom how anyone so dense could become the leader of this country. Granted, the last guy was no genius, but exactly what planet is Obama on? We've plunged a trillion dollars into the banking industry, and he basically said we're going to go spend even more money later? WHAT!?!?! We haven't spent so much as a dime to fix the mortgage crisis that is driving the economy downward. As for the president's plan to have a mortgage relief that doesn't reward unscrupulous buyers who bought homes they couldn't afford, that's the most asinine thing I've ever heard. It's the irresponsible buyers who are driving the economy downward. We've bailed out every other undeserving schmuck, why aren't we cutting home owners a break?

Not that it would matter if we did. There's a lot of talk about modifying loans, adjusting mortgage rates, etc. I'm going to tell you right now that this is all a mistake and these efforts are only going to prolong the agony of our faltering economy. Credit is not moving because of uncertainty. Uncertainty is being caused by the fact that a lot of companies have assets and they have no idea what they might be worth because real estate is essentially worthless as long there's an endless supply of foreclosed houses going on the market. It does not matter what the interest rates are, or what adjustments to principal are made. There are a lot of homes occupied by people who will never in a million years be able to afford to own a home. Not if the interest rate were -2% could they afford the payments. Rather than dragging this thing out by trying to keep people in homes they are going to inevitably lose, we should be speeding things up. We need to get people out of those houses and get the house sold to someone who can afford it. Once the houses are all sold, the real estate market will recover its value, and we can start rebuilding the economy.

In the meantime, the idea that we can throw money all over the place and the economy will magically heal is just insane. It hasn't ever worked in the past, the bailout shows no signs of working now, and it is the very definition of insanity to think that it will somehow start working in the future.

As if that weren't bad enough, the President then went on to say how he's found two trillion in savings from programs he's going to cut (not true, see links at end of post) promised to cure cancer, make us a green economy, and to get everyone a college education. WHAT? Ignoring that there is no conceivable way to pay for this, there is still no physical way to accomplish these goals. Not everyone can go to college. An outrageous number of kids can't pass the high school exit exam, how are they going to go to college? I also find it laughable that Obama would promise to end costly agribusiness subsidies, when he has continued to support the Ethanol, the largest agriculture swindle in America. This whole speech was outrageous and just plain idiotic. If you bought any of it then I suggest you have your head examined.

The fine folks at factcheck.org have weighed in on the stimulus plan. Their review can be found here (short version: It's Bull).

Also, the fact checkers at mywaynews had a thing or two to say about the speech tonight, story here (short version: you could fertilize your lawn with that speech).

P.S. Ben Bernanke said he thinks that the recession will end this year. Based on what? Where on earth do you get the facts to support your starry eyed optimism, Mr Bernanke? Please, share with us the figures that indicate any kind of trend towards recovery. Show us what facts convince you that all of the experts who say 3-5 years until a recovery are in fact wrong.

Don't believe the madness. Fiscal responsibility is our only way back to success.

Only you can bailout the economy

Addicting Games has a great little game where you get to handout bailout cash or slap bankers. Give it a whirl:



Play Games at AddictingGames

D'oh!

Some economists are saying that the president's new program to employ people to install rural broadband networks could actually result in job LOSSES. I'm starting to feel for Obama, the guy just can't catch a break. Story here.

Meanwhile, no one seems to be gaining enthusiasm for my plan to help the economy. I'll explain it again. We have people who need jobs, and we have an auto industry that needs something extraordinary to pull it out of the tank. Let's put those people to work building flying cars. It's almost 2010 and every freaking Sci-Fi movie worth its salt has promised us that we would have flying cars by now. Flying cars would revitalize the sagging auto industry, and it would eliminate the need to spend large chunks of government funds to maintain the roadways. Be honest, which would you rather see: people working in a modern Tennessee Valley authority, or those freakin' sweet flying cars from Minority Report. If the government is going to spend a trillion dollars, wouldn't you at least like to get flying cars out of the deal? Shouldn't a trillion dollars be enough to make it happen? Can we finally get the way cool flying cars that you know you want, and revitalize the American economy? YES, WE CAN!

I want to point out that not only is the Sims Stimulus plan economically feasible, it is the only stimulus plan that has the benefit of being TOTALLY AWESOME. I urge you to write, telephone, or email your congressperson and tell them to vote for the Sims Stimulus plan (also referred to as the Simsulus Plan). I want to point out to all of the naysayers that the Simsulus plan has EXACTLY the same chance of working as any other economic recovery plan that has been presented. Plus, it is the only plan that offers you FLYING CARS.

Congratulations

Here at simsisms, we are often criticized for being too negative. But, we like to recognize achievement when we see it, so today, we at simsisms would like to give a big congratulations to the nation of Iran.

Intelligence reports that Iran now has enough uranium to make a nuclear weapon. SURPRISE!!! Iran is now one step closer to reaching its goal of being a nuclear force and vaporizing the filthy zionists. Iran, we congratulate you. YOU GO GIRL!!!

Idiot Watch

Exactly how hard is it to find a competent attorney general? Have we had one in the last 20 years? In a nation where you can't throw a stone without hitting a lawyer, someone has got to be able to do the job and not be grotesquely beef-headed.

For those who didn't hear, soon to be former Attorney General Eric Holder called the United States a "Nation of Cowards." In context, his remarks were directed at america's ongoing failure to openly discuss the issue of race. However, that is NOT how the remarks are being taken. Memo to all would be cabinet officials: Speechwriters save lives. Enjoy crucifixion in the media Mr. Holder!

Story may be found here.

Poverty Watch

Yet another reason why you are screwed:

Just as everyone who ever picked up an econ book has predicted, printing massive amounts of cash has caused inflation. Almost a full percentage point in the month of January. If inflation continues to rise at its present rate, we'll be looking at about 10% inflation this year. That's assuming things don't get worse, which they will every time the government decides that the solution to our problems is to spend money that doesn't exist rather than make real meaningful changes to the way we live.

Oh, and still more people lost their jobs. Details here.

Legal Watch

What do you do as a follow-up for getting OJ? You take down Suge Knight. Infamous rap mogul and (alleged) force behind the Biggie and Tupac murders, pled guilty to Battery in a Las Vegas court recently. That's right, California. Our courts get the guys you can't. Send us Phil Spector and Robert Blake. We'll put them away too.

Suge was caught beating a naked woman along D.I. He apparently had possession of a bunch of ecstasy and a Gregory House amount of Vicodin. He also had a knife. Good Job, Suge.

Story here.

Today in the Financial Crisis.

Quick survey of some notable financial developments.

First, in case you didn't know already, credit card companies hate you, and they aren't shy about showing it. Pretty much every credit card company on earth is raising their interest rates, minimum payments, and tacking on additional fees (ever call a credit card company? exactly how does an organization that does not provide service justify calling fees a "service charge"?). We here at simsisms would like to taunt all of you who slave away for VISA, Bastardcard, and American Excess by rubbing in the fact that we have no credit card debt. Neener, Neener, Neener.

Not wanting to be upstaged in the "people or groups that you are absolutely sick of hearing from" contest, congress immediately announced that it would be looking into credit card companies. The same credit card companies who no longer have the resources to give generous campaign contributions. Way to attract attention to yourselves at precisely the wrong moment, guys! Maybe you should have just lied low and waited for the whole economic crisis to blow over, but no, you had to go and try and get a few more drops of blood out of a nation full of stones. Good move, guys. Seriously, next announce your corporate sponsorship for the 2009 "Club baby seals" competition, FTW. Link to the story may be found here.

Next, a surprising number of homeowners have been able to escape foreclosure by asking their lenders to produce the note. Turns out, a lot of the time, Banks can't do it. Good job consumers. Pwn those banks! Link may be found here.

Forbes had a decent article on why we should not bail out shareholders in banks. I skimmed the article but didn't find any mention of bankers having horns. Must have been an oversight. Seriously though, the article should appeal to all of you amateur economists out there (you know who you are). Link here.

Also, it appears that the economic crunch is being felt all over, resulting in premiere Las Vegas attorney Craig P. Kenny actually charging for defending you from traffic tickets. Kenny used to provide this service for free as a way to meet new clients. Now he's charging 50 bucks. That's still less than most other lawyers are charging, but still, it stinks to lose such a valuable free service. Over the years, we here at simsisms have sent many people Craig's way, but we may now have to rethink this. Sorry Craig, until further notice we are downgrading your status from "People we love" to "People we moderately like." Story on Wild Wild Law, here.

I've been meaning to lug this for a while, but haven't found the right time to do it. I've decided that here is as good a place to plug it as any. One of my favorite prof's has a blog and I am commanding everyone to read it. Nancy Rapoport is one of the great bankruptcy minds in the state of Nevada, and has worked on several big name bankruptcy cases, including the Enron case. I insist that you check out her very worthwhile blog, http://nancyrapoport.blogspot.com/

Lastly, have you seen this photo?




Don't front, that's freaking cute. I don't even care that it has nothing to do with money and doesn't belong in this post.

More snarky comments as they develop!

Bankruptcy Watch

Oh yeah! It's the economy, Baby.

The following notable companies got pwned by the economy.

First off, Muzak, the dreadful "music" played in elevators and shopping malls through which the government may or may not be controlling your mind is out of cash. Sadly, they are not liquidating and will continue to kick the tunes. Story here.

Next, providence has smiled upon us all and forced Trump entertainment to declare chapter 11. You may notice the sun shining a little brighter and music sounding a little sweeter today. Except for Muzak-type music. Story here.

Nazi Zombies

Open Letter

Dear Barack Obama,

On behalf of the entire city of Las Vegas I would like to thank you for discouraging companies from sending their employees to Las Vegas. Thank you very much for taking billions of dollars out of the rapidly deteriorating Las Vegas Economy. Did you not seem to realize that when people spend money it helps the economy? Did you seriously rise to the highest office in the country without a rudimentary understanding of economics? Are you clueless to the fact that there are ways to stimulate the economy other than the government just randomly printing money? See, those people would have come to Las Vegas, and spent money on goods and services. The people who would have provided those goods and services would have then spent the money they received on more goods and services, and so forth. It's bad enough that you are on TV every night flogging this outrageous and ill conceived stimulus bill which will commit our nation to economic underachievement for the foreseeable future, but why do you feel the need to further embarass yourself by seeking to discourage tourism to Las Vegas, a town which anyone with approxamite IQ of granite knows relies heavily on tourism for its economy. Is it possible that the same man who criticized his predecessor for being a simpleton could be so mind-bogglingly beef-headed? Mr. President, are you seriously saying we must act with reckless abandon to mortgage the next 30 years of our treasury to save our economy at the exact same moment that you are telling people not to go and spend money in a town leading the nation in foreclosures and with double digit unemployment? Thank you very much for making Las Vegas an utter pariah in the business world, you unbelievable schmuck. Just please, never mention my town again. In fact, don't even visit this state. You are not welcome here, you pea-brained twit.

Mayor Goodman has asked for an apology, and I you owe it to this city. You've cost this town a great deal of money and jobs, and you have offended the city of Las Vegas, a city with numerous mob connections. Next time you want to score political points by making someone else look bad, please don't throw my city under the bus to do it.