2008 Wrap-Up

Greetings to all after the Holiday layover. As we move on to 2009, I think it appropriate that we take time to remember the mighty suckfest that was 2008. Here's the Simsisms rundown of the best and worst parts of 2008.

Best Movie Seen in 2008

Look, 2008 was a pretty crappy year for movies. Let's face it. There were maybe a handful of movies that you could actually justify seeing a second time. I think we can all accept that Dark Knight was pretty much the cream of the crop, provided you ignore Christian Bale's Tom Waite impression every time he speaks as Batman. Batman scores major points for having at least 3 Oscar worthy performances and having the guts to realize that Batman is a fairly boring character at this stage and focusing on everyone around him. Harvey Dent's rise and fall was probably the most interesting story told onscreen this year, and the Joker was about the scariest character to show up on film since Hannibal Lecter.

Other Fairly decent films include Iron Man, and....uhm...(crickets chirping)....uh....yeah. By all accounts Wall-E was pretty good, as was Kung Fu panda, but I haven't gotten around to seeing either of them. I've also heard some great things about documentaries, but again, I haven't seen anything. Pretty much everything else was a tragic disappointment or mediocre at best. James Bond was Meh, and Indiana Jones....well....let's just say I'm working on a device a la "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" to expunge the memories of this film from my brain. We may need to take a restraining order out on George Lucas to keep him away from movies.

Worst Movie Seen in 2008.

This is a pretty crowded field, as there were a number of movies I turned off midway through when I realized that I didn't care how they ended. However, the most ridiculous movie I sat all the way through would have to be Eagle Eye. The more I thought about the movie, the more it just didn't make sense. Why would a computer go through such convoluted lengths to accomplish something so very simple?

Thanfully the 2009 slate of movies looks very promising, with Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes leading the pack of movies that I want to see.

Best TV show of 2008

LOSTLOSTLOSTLOSTLOST!!!!!!! A thousand times LOST. No show featured more jaw dropping, mind blowing moments. I love the Wire, but I'm too traumatized by what happened to Dukie to put it as number one. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. By the way, did I mention that LOST starts again in 3 weeks? I may completely fail school this semester.

Worst TV Show of 2008 that used to be good.

Heroes. It's stock has dropped further than Bear Stearns. This last chapter was the equivalent of Indy hopping into the fridge. Note to producers, It takes a lot to make me not watch Kristen Bell. I have a mad crush on that girl and have since day one of Veronica Mars. She makes my little geek heart race. But I just couldn't watch her on heroes, it was just too awful. After years of hearing her bantering witty Rob Thomas dialogue, I just couldn't take the banal drivel the Heroes writers had her spouting. I don't know if Bryan Fuller can fix this train wreck of a show. I've quit watching anyway.

Best Music of 2008

While 2008 was a dreadful year for movies, it was a boom year for music. Picking favorite music from this year is like picking between my children. In addition to the great lineup of indie artists I found by cruising amazon at 2 in the morning, I also discovered some great classic stuff as well. I've played "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed my iPod is practically in revolt. I've also gotten hugely into the Clash and local record stores are toying with me by not carrying any of The Clash's classic stuff in Vinyl. DARN YOU ZIA RECORDS!!! YOU HAVE EVERY RECORD JACKSON BROWN HAS EVER RECORDED AND NOT A SINGLE COPY OF LONDON CALLING?!?! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!?

As far as tracks from this year, a definitive best is impossible to name, but Fleet Foxes, Vampire Weekend, Bon Iver, and Ra Ra Riot all made must have music this year.

The Album Most Overhyped as "Amazing" When it was Really Just Okay, or at Best, Pretty Good.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Sure, It's on my iPod, it's got some good songs, but it was well sort of Earth Shattering and nowhere near as transcendantly good as everyone made it out to be. I haven't listened to Violet Hill in months, and the album is just not an essential to anyone's reord collection. Go ahead, send me angry email messages, it doesn't make the album any better.

Worst Song of the Year, Who's Singer Should Be Shot.

"I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry. Terrible song, propelled up the charts by teenagers who wanted to upset their parents. Back in the day, kids bought Offspring, or Green Day to make their parents mad. At least they had talent! I sound so old. This song is irritating, irritating, irritating. If the lyrics were about something else, this song would have never seen the light of day. It. Sucks. Period.

Most Washed Up Artist who is No Longer Relevant and We Should All Seriously Reconsider if He/She was Ever Any Good to Begin With.

Madonna.

2008 proved that she's an old hack, and an embarassment, and her career has basically been perpetuated by finding new and interesting ways to court controversy.

Best Blog of 2008

Goes to my buddy Myron. If only he updated more often.

Most Unprofessional group 0f 2008

The mainstream media, for not even attempting to be evenhanded. It's not that they were overly harsh to John McCain or George Bush, it's that they wouldn't ask hard questions of the other side. It galls me that these outlets wonder why they are losing ad revenue and viewership and can't seem to self-examine and figure out that they have a HUGE credibility problem.

The Publication most desperately in need of a more competent and biting Ombudsman in 2008.

The New York Times. If this paper wants to savce itself, it needs to find credibility FAST. It should follow the ESPN model and get an Ombudsman and actually draw attention to it. ESPN's Ombudsman was the Must read feature on the web this year. She's tough, fair, and calls people on the carpet all the time for being idiots. If the New York Times is going to continue being a leftist hack publication, it ought to admit it, and bring someone in to point out the Glaring Bias in its reporting. Ditto the Washington Post, which already has an ombudsman, but doesn't give her any power or press.

Best Book I read in 2008

This is a tough one, since I didn't read many books. I read a lot of cases, and they were all terrible. The kind of writing that would make John Updike light himself on fire. I guess I'll go with "Slaughterhouse Five" even though I can't decide whether I loved it or hated it. Vonnegut's writing is undeniably brilliant, and buried deep within all of the sci-fi stuff is a compelling account of the horrors of the Dresden Bombing.

Coming up number 2 on the list is Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction. It's a heartbreaking story of a father of a brilliant young man who turns to drugs. The father describes the years of heartache as his son becomes a modern day Jekyll and Hyde. The book does tend to ramble a bit, and the poor author must be the only one in the world who didn't see that his son was probably doomed to drug addiction before he ever became a teenager (broken home, nasty custody battle, long distance joint custody arrangement, early experimentation with marijuana. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that this kid was at risk). Still, the book works as a compelling story of heartbreak, and the capacity of a human being to live in complete denial of reality, even when the truth is right in front of him. It also serves as a great window into the condition of rehab and recovery in this country, which the author shows is fairly impotent and unequiped to handle an ever-growing epidemic.

Favorite Book I read to My Nephew, Thomas

Five Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.

I may go out and adopt a kid just so I have an excuse to read this book every night. Thomas loved it so much he started reciting it in the middle of sacrament meeting last week. I couldn't help myself, I joined in. I'm sure the family in front of us hates me.

Favorite Moment of 2008

On a long 15 mile run a few months ago, I ran up Charleston avenue until just after all the houses. I stopped and looked around and noticed that I had escaped civilization and there was nothing around me. At that exact minute, snowflakes started falling.

Also fun was Emma telling me I was the most fun of everyone. Ha! Take that, Uncle Danny!

Favorite Discovery of 2008

Vinyl Records.

I've now spent more money on vinyl albums in the past few days than I have spent on CD's in the past couple of years. In fact, I can't remember how long it's been since I even bought a CD. Records sound so warm and alive. I listened to "New Slang" by The Shins last night on vinyl and it was like I heard the song for the first time. As much as I love all of the music from 2008, the best song I've heard all year was last night, when I listened to Simon & Garfunkel's "Only Living Boy in New York" on vinyl. I don't know how CD's ever replaced the warm and inviting sound of records. Vinyl just sounds so much better.

Worst Move During the 2008 Economic Crisis

New York City, for raising welfare benefits 30% while introducing a plethora of new taxes.

Is it a prerequisite for elected office in this country that you must not have a basic understanding of economics? How else do we explain this? In a year of stunningly bad financial decisions by government, this has to be the worst. "The only way to stimulate the economy is to get people to spend money, let's raise the price of everything so people won't spend money." WHAT?!?!?! A tax on soda, coffee, iTunes? Seriously, freaking iTunes?

Close runner ups were the auto bailout, and the Einsteinian "Stimulus Package." The auto bailout means that the mismanaged auto companies will continue to run without meaningful change, and the stimulus package which was supposed to prevent a recession, well, let's just say it didn't work. Even though it didn't work, congress has decided to try and give it another go. We'll probably have another round of stimulus checks this next year. This is the very embodiment of why nothing in this country gets fixed. Rather than change the regulations or failed policies that gave us this mess and then wait for a recovery, the government would much rather throw money at the problem and then pat itself on the back. You realize, that since we've been in recession not one meaningful financial regulation has changed? Again, the capacity of human beings to live in denial is limitless.

Worst Losers of 2008

The Whole "No on Prop 8 crowd." If they had spent the kind of energy trying to defeat the bill that they did complaining and harassing Mormons after the bill was passed, it might have been a closer election. They also seem to be wholly immune to the message that voters sent, that the No on Prop 8'ers are CLEARLY in the Minority and that the Majority absolutely, positively, and without exception does not want gays to marry, PERIOD. You cannot inflict social change on people who do not want it. Just ask all of the schools in the south that weren't desegregated until the NIXON administration, almost two decades after Brown v. Bd of Education.

Biggest Stud of 2008.

Thomas S. Monson.

Hands down. No contest. No comment needed.

All right kids, that's the wrap on 2008. Stay with us for 2009, as we cover the continued recession, the collapse of the construction industry in Las Vegas, and the early failures of an overly arrogant Obama administration. Happy New Year, and Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.