The week in Housisms

I was contemplating the recent stories I thought I might try and relate the news to quotes from a favorite TV Show. Since Veronica Mars is no longer on, that makes House the most quotable show on TV. Here's this weeks take on the news, as related in favorite quotes from House, M.D.

1) Dr. Gregory House: "Nobel invented dynamite. I won't accept his blood money. "

This one comes from House talking about why he doesn't wouldn't accept an award that no one would give him anyway. We're going to tie this one to Hillary Clinton for essentially offering the VP slot to Barack Obama when she's losing to him. Exactly what planet is this woman living on? It takes testicular fortitude rarely seen on this planet to pull something like that. Way to totally show the world that you have at least one key presidential skill, Hillary: Denial. You're losing and you're going to continue to lose because you are about as likeable as the herpes virus and those "superdelegates" you thought would bail you out? Well guess what, there's only one reason that rats abandon ship, and that's 'cause the ship is sinking. Take a look at your campaign and you'll notice the word TITANIC stamped on the side and Jack and Rose sitting in the back talking about how they'll never let go. Those super-delegates are gone and you are pretty much done. Good Riddance.

2) Dr. Robert Chase: She was fine two hours ago.
Dr. Gregory House: If by fine you mean bleeding profusely out of every orifice, then yeah, I believe you.

This one goes to the economy which has been much worse than people thought it was for a long time and is only going to keep going down hill. Much of this is tied to the price of gas and the Kathy Bates nude scene that is the sub prime mortgage crisis. Most of this was totally foreseeable and preventable. I'm starting work at a bankruptcy firm, so I'm perfectly fine with all of this, but you may feel differently. Oh, and the continued rate cuts and the giant tax rebate? Those things are going to be about as effective as a band-aid on cancer. The recession is coming. Get ready.

3) Dr. Gregory House: McPhearson? Horrible doctor, I heard he tortured kittens.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, McDonald.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, McDonald? Wonderful Doctor, loves kittens

This one goes to New York Governor Patterson. Patterson was chosen to replace the embattled Governor Spitzer who resigned amid allegations of infidelity and cavorting with prostitutes. Patterson chose his inauguration to announce that he has been cheating on his wife for years, too. Way to go Governor. You're sure an improvement over the last guy!

4) Dr. Gregory House: "Read less, more TV."

This one goes to LOST, which continues to blow me away. SPOILER ALERT. Nestor Carbonell or whatever the actor who plays Richard Alpert's name is, will be back in the final five eps of the season. Please let this mean we will get an explanation for why this guy isn't going on.

Remember, this season is all about who gets off the island and establishing that they need to get back. Next season is about why they need to get back and how they get there. And the final season is all about what happens when they get there. Can't wait.

4) Dr. Gregory House: "Everybody lies."

To the oil companies. Why? Because there is no way you can convince me that $3.50 is a legitimate price for gas. Congratulations oil companies, you are officially the very definition of evil. I look forward to seeing you in hell where ice water is abundant but costs 5 bucks a cup.

5) Dr. Lisa Cuddy: "If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake. "

This one goes to anyone who picked BYU to go beyond the second round of the NCAA tournament. Anyone who picked BYU to advance past the first round is probably going to be disappointed. And yes, I would love to be wrong.

Dr. Gregory House: "Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot. "

This one goes to the Houston Rockets. I'm typing this as I am watching them blow their 20+ game winning streak against Boston. You guys had an amazing run but you still aren't making it out of the first round of the playoffs.