Decades Best Part 1

The 10 best films I saw this Decade.

The Royal Tenenbaums- Anyone who knows me knows that I have a dark and off kilter sense of humor. People either really love this movie or really hate this movie. I secretly suspect that the people who hate this movie lack the ability to appreciate the finely nuanced humor that rewards repeat viewings. Or maybe they just hate it because it doesn't have explosions, flatulence, or Larry the Cable Guy. This is without a doubt Owen Wilson's best film. Sadly he died shortly after this film was made. Do you understand me? He died. Tragically. He never made Drillbit Taylor. It never happened. You hallucinated it. Next time, just say no to drugs.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy- Probably the funniest movie of the decade that I'm not embarrassed to admit that I liked. It's also one of the most quotable movies of the decade, if not all time. This was back when Will Ferrell was funny. Hard to believe Will Ferrell went from the next big thing to the next Chevy Chase so quickly. Gosh his films have been terrible lately. Brick rules!

About a Boy- I never would have imagined liking a movie that starred Hugh Grant. However, the film about a self-absorbed narcissist is hilarious. And if a guy like him can find love, it brings hope to my family that one day I will fake some poor girl into a marriage.

Memento- Turns standard story telling on its head in a way that has been often imitated but never with the same affect. This movie has some of my favorite story telling conventions. Non-linear narrative, unreliable narrator, and most importantly, Joe Pantoliano.

The Dark Knight-Great story, top notch acting, IMAX scenes, and also the best magic trick in a movie ever (Where did that pencil go?). Batman Begins wasn't exactly slouch filmaking, but this film was masterful in every way. There's nothing in this film that could have been better with the possible exception of *spoiler alert* killing Maggie Gyllenhal earlier. I'm begging the entire Gyllenhal family to refrain from acting. They're just not good. At least her death established a truely terrifying story where characters were legitimately in danger and life for them was a dark and random place where bad things could happen without warning, and who hasn't felt that way about their life from time to time?

Avatar- Smurfs on steroids that blow things up in 3-D? How can this not be the best movie of the decade. I haven't seen it yet and I'm still putting it on the list. I have that much faith in James Cameron. He directed Terminator 2, and the last Aliens movie that wasn't a total disaster. I'm willing to chalk Titanic up to a 200 million dollar practical joke to prove that girls will watch any ridiculous love story a million times as long as the hero is a femmy looking dude who sports boy bangs with whom the heroine couldn't possibly sustain a long term relationship.

Almost Famous- If this movie comes on TNT on a saturday afternoon, you know you will sit there and finish it. It's probably the best movie of the decade. It certainly has the best soundtrack. I defy you not to smile during the Tiny Dancer bus scene. It's not humanly possible. If you don't smile then your soul may be missing. May it was vaporized by global warming. The only complaint I have about this movie is that Cameron Crowe basically had nothing left after he put his heart and soul into this film and his movies since then have been terrible (Elizabethtown, anyone? How high do you have to be to think that either Kristen Dunst or Orlando Bloom can act?)

Gosford Park- Ha! You didn't see that one coming, did you! A commentary on social class disguised as a murder mystery, and the film works on both levels. Good film, even if Robert Altman was a self-important jerk. And yes, I said he was a jerk. I don't care if it is rude to speak ill of the dead. He was and I'm saying it.

The Fog of War- Probably the best documentary of the decade. Robert McNamara is such a compelling figure. Made about the time the Iraq war was starting up, McNamara, the architect of Vietnam raises questions that everyone should ask themselves, and leaves the viewer free to come up with their own answer. A movie about a man who is probably responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people, and the movie does a good job of showing McNamara's reaction to his sins. He never really owns them, but you can see that what he's done weighs on him, and you wonder how certain he is of some of the things he says.

Brick- A classic film noir set in a modern high school. If you are a fan of dialogue, then you will love this movie. Teenagers delivering lines that could have been written by Raymond Chandler himself, what's not to love?

8 Films That Are Not Nearly as Good as Everyone Says or Thinks They Are.

1) Anything that involves vampires that sparkle. This is not up for debate. It is pure fact.

2) Lord of the Rings- Before you flood my email box with hate mail, or you put me on an Al-Queda mailing list, let me say that the films are good films. They are great films. Probably some of the best and most entertaining films of the decade. They are also the longest films ever made. Three and a half hours is too long for a movie. Please, for the love of the seat cushions, cut something out of the film. How many Orcs do we need to see get impaled? We get the point. Liv Tyler? Not that important, she could be cut. While watching the last movie in this series, my buttocks went numb from being seated for so long.

3) Gladiator- I cannot stress this enough: this is an average movie, at best. Why exactly did this get nominated for an Oscar? Does Ridley Scott have incriminating photos of someone? I'm not saying its a bad movie, but it is massively overhyped. Dude's family is killed, dude becomes a fighter and gets revenge. What's so great about that? Rocky beat Ivan Drago, who was way tougher than creepy Joaquin Phoenix, and he had a better soundtrack, and a better training montage. In fact, I'm going to go so far as to say that Rocky Four was 10 times better of a movie than Gladiator, and yet, no Oscar. Don't front, if Rocky 4 comes on TV, you are probably going to watch. You are at least staying for the training montage at the end. Then, at some point during the week you are going to confront a challenge and throw your hands up in the air and shout "DRAGO!!!", to the complete bewilderment and confusion of your co-workers or friends who happen to be around you. If Gladiator comes on, are you even sticking around to watch it?

4) Brokeback Mountain- Okay, I haven't seen it, but I feel the need to point this out: This movie is really gay.

5) A Beautiful Mind- I don't hate Russell Crowe. I really don't. Although I would fight him if I had the chance and I was convinced I could win. This would probably involve him being drugged and semi-conscious. However, this is not a good movie. It milked sympathy by claiming to be the authentic story of a man who battled his way back to sanity. The only problem was that this movie was about as faithful to reality as the real Nash was to his wife--which is to say, not very. In fact, by this film's standards, Harry Potter could bill itself as based on a true story. Once you learn that the film is total fiction it loses its impact and is just another hokey film. Also, the screenwriter on this film wrote Batman and Robin which may be the worst movie of all time. I feel like that should matter.

6) The Matrix sequels- Okay, no one thinks these are great films, but lets face it, they are much worse than people give them credit for. I mean, these films are REALLY bad. I mean now that a couple years have passed can't we agree that they are downright unwatchable? You would have to strap me to a chair and wire my eyes open Clockwork Orange-style to convince me to watch these films again. Throw the original Matrix in there too. That film may have been revolutionary in its day, but its been 10 years and it doesn't hold up. That film just straight up sucks if you watch it now.

7) The Aviator- Another example of a movie that is probably okay, maybe even good, but there are people out there who gave this thing awards and it is nowhere good enough to deserve it. In fact, Marty Scorsese's work this whole decade has been that way. I know people refer to him as a genius, but is Gangs of New York even a watchable film? I've only seen it when it aired on TV and I think I made it about 15 minutes. Everyone else I know had the same reaction. Also, when are we going to accept that Leonard DiCaprio is annoying and unwatchable? Am I the only one who feels this way? I feel like you could replace him in pretty much any film with almost any actor and it wouldn't hurt the film at all.

8) Any film by Michael Moore- There's a pretty good chance that Moore's playing loose with the facts helped give republican's enough ammo to get Bush a second term in office. The man is entertaining but his films cannot fairly be called documentaries. They are propaganda films, pure and simple, and they are steadily decreasing in quality (not to mention factual content).

Did I miss any? Sound off in the comments section below.