Cheers and Jeers

Triathlon training is just not happening. Didn't get in anything but running because of time constraints and general soreness. Managed to pull off 15.5 miles this morning but man, am I tired. I must be getting old. How can I run in the mad Las Vegas heat? I think it's pretty much common knowledge at this point that I am totally insane.

One thing I am not is too skinny. I last weighed in at 155 lbs which is exactly right for my height. I ran the St. George Marathon at 145. While I wouldn't call myself fat, I'm really not that skinny. My body fat % is high and my muscle tone is low. Not only am I not skinny, but my legs are downright bulky. The result of years of running, weightlifting, and a generous contribution from poor genetics. I offer the following photos into evidence. These were taken last week at the rock climbing gym.


Now for this weeks blog, I thought I'd hand out some "Cheers" and some "Jeers" for recent current events and things that have been on my mind.


CHEERS! to Global Warming.



It was 80 degrees when I started run today. In the middle of July. In Las Vegas. If this is global warming, I say, bring it on.


CHEERS! to IndyMac.



I love IndyMac. Love them. This week IndyMac was taken over by the feds, Prompting everyone to wonder, "Why now? Why not 3 years ago?" IndyMac is responsible for who knows how many bad loans and probably helped destabilize the economy. The feds taking over the bank now is kind of like an ambulance showing up to a funeral. So why am I giving them Cheers? Because I can't even count the number of clients we've had because of terrible IndyMac mortgages. If I ever have the money to buy a house, it will be in large part because of the number of clients who lost their houses to IndyMac. Indy can do no wrong in my eyes, so congrats for running your business so poorly that you are now the second biggest bank failure in U.S. history. IndyMac, I heart you.


CHEERS! To Las Vegas Bankruptcy Trustee Yvette Weinstein.



I met Ms. Weinstein for the first time yesterday and she was totally rad. You're all right with me Yvette.


JEERS! To Las Vegas Bankruptcy Trustee William Leonard.



I really needed that file to be dropped off on Friday, but what do you know, Leonard's office is closed on Fridays. Not cool, Biff. Not cool.

CHEERS! to Farmers insurance.



For those who haven't heard, my beloved S-10 is no more. I was miraculously spared from injury, and I do mean miraculously. When last heard from, the other driver as still in the hospital.




Farmer's finally got off its rear end and is giving me enough to pay off the S-10 and hopefully make a down-payment on a new, more fuel-efficient car. The leading contenders right now are an Accord, Altima, or Camry. Really wanted a Mini-Cooper but there's just no way I can afford one. Sadly, IndyMac didn't give out enough bad mortgages. If anybody knows of someone trying to unload a reasonably priced car, let me know.


CHEERS! to the Stock Market.



Dow Jones dipped below 11000 this week. Personally, I'm hoping it dips below 10. It is good to have job security. I think if it gets down to 10000 I can talk my boss into taking us to Disneyland to celebrate. SELL SELL SELL!!!

JEERS! to the Ford Taurus.



My rental while I am between cars is a Ford Taurus. The Ford Taurus is without a doubt the worst car I have ever driven and I hate it. No offense to all of you Taurus drivers out there, but it's not for me.


JEERS! to the iPhone 3G.



By all accounts they released this thing a little too soon. Way to follow the Microsoft example. I still haven't found a phone that would make me willingly sign my soul over for another two year contract. I'll stick with my simple samsung, thank you very much.


CHEERS! to my niece, Emma.



Emma survived her first year of pre-school. You go girl. Don't tell me that this picture of her and the flower isn't the cutest thing you ever saw.



JEERS! to Clients



I love most of our clients, but one or two need to be worked on with pliers and a blowtorch. My least favorite types of clients:

1) Guy who has a six figure income and owes over a hundred thousand dollars and doesn't want to pay a dime. We actually have several variations of this client, and they are instantly recognizable by there high pitched screaming at a lawyer whenever their bankruptcy payments turn out to be anything other than a token repayment.

2) Client who does not understand that they are not rich. Dave Ramsey said it best. "Not everyone can afford to own Real Estate." For some reason, the idea that they cannot declare bankruptcy and still keep expensive houses/cars/jet skis/four-wheelers does not sit well with some people. I'm always amazed at the people who want to declare bankruptcy but not be bankrupt. You can actually keep a surprising amount of things in a bankruptcy, but for some people it just isn't enough. It especially blows my mind when people absolutely refuse to get rid of something they cannot afford. Generally, this thing is a house with a ridiculous mortgage. Even when we run the numbers and show them how the house payments are killing them, how they will never get the money back on the house, there are still a lot of people who would willing take a hammer and pound nails into their eyeballs than give up the house.

3) Girl who wants people to forgive her the tens of thousands of dollars that she owes, but feels no need to be nice to anyone. Oddly enough, this type of client is almost always female. Apparently, the old "catch more flies with honey" saying has not caught on in some circles. It just seems to me that if you want people to overlook your mistakes, a sensible thing would be to try and be nice to the people. I've met one or two people who were so rude and downright intolerable that it is no wonder they are in bankruptcy. If they weren't, it would be hard to believe that any kind of justice existed in the world.


That's all the cheers and jeers for this week. However, I am calling one person out. A certain person who went to South America and stated that he was going to post pictures. He's been back for a while now and still no pictures. I'm starting to think that he didn't really go to South America, but instead went and holed up in some meth lab in Taft. Where's the pictures bro?

That's it til next time.

Heat Wave

Some weeks it just don't pay to get out of bed. My car got smashed up by a lady who ran a red light, I missed my wednesday run, Las Vegas is in a heat wave, and I still work too much for too little. On those weeks where your life sounds like a country music song there's only one thing to do.


That's right, you gotta run 16 miles in the 100 degree weather. It's the only way you will ever feel better.

For those wondering what I did for the 4th of July, I celebrated my patriotism by stimulating the economy. I bought new running shoes. The soreness in my hips Thursday told me that it was time. Of course, it might have also had something to do with having been rammed by an SUV the day before, but this is besides the point. The point is, I hopped over to the Nike outlet and dropped 60 bones on a new pair of trusty Air Max Moto's, the only consistently good running shoe Nike makes for the neutral runner. (Confession, I'm only half neutral. One foot pronates, the other supinates. I figure that these things cancel each other out and make me a neutral runner). I love having the Nike outlet in town. It lets me get all my running necessities at a hefty discount. These shoes retail for $90 so they were a steal.

So I've decided to get myself in shape for a triathlon. I figure since no one out there wants to date me, I'll channel my free time and energy into that. I figure my running gives me a good level of base fitness, I just need to ditch the weights and start swimming. I'm a terrible swimmer, and I think the lifeguards don't know whether to laugh or cry when I'm in the pool. I've been trying to get some swimming in but lap swimming is painfully boring and unlike running where you can kick it with an ipod to distract you from the monotony, in swimming the only distraction is gasping for breath periodically. The bike will probably be the hardest part and I have no idea what I'm going to do for that. 112 miles! I figure I'll set a goal to be iron man ready a year or so from now. If I do the 2009 silverman, I can do an ironman triathlon before I'm thirty and my body starts to fall apart.

BANKRUPTCY BLAWG!

A quick word on things financial. I have a theory that many people who end up in bankruptcy do so because they are unwilling to accept reality or in many cases admit failure. There's nothing wrong with unwillingness to accept reality. I refuse to accept reality all the time, mostly because reality, generally speaking, sucks. I also refuse to admit failure long after failure has become apparent, just ask anyone who has ever been out on a third date with me. However, refusing to look at your financial situation honestly can get you into real trouble. There is NEVER, ever, a good reason to borrow money on your house, or on your 401K. These are not things you should touch. If you have to pull money out of your house or your retirement to support a business venture, it is a pretty good sign that venture is a failure. If you can't support it without dipping into retirement or your house then it is time to walk away. At least you can walk away with a home and a retirement.

Also, looking at the causes of bankruptcy, my own experience has shown me lately that the top causes of bankruptcy are: money lost in housing market, medical problems, and disability problems. Now money lost in housing has all kinds of causes. Mostly it's because people got into a house they couldn't afford, or they could afford until their adjustable rate mortgage kicked in and now they just can't make ends meet. Don't ever incur a debt, especially housing debt, thinking "Oh, I'll just refinance it later." That decision makes about as much sense as making Lindsay Lohan your designated Driver. You are running a tremendous risk on something that is just not dependable.

Medical insurance. Everyone should have it, even if Barrack Obama doesn't force you to buy it. One illness can wipe out a lifetime of savings. Too many people think that nothing bad will ever happen to them and it's just silly. People get sick every day. The ambulance ride alone is more than many people make in a month. Do yourself a favor and get whatever medical insurance you can manage. Even if it is just catastrophic coverage, it beats nothing.

Disability Insurance. Generally, it costs a few bucks a month. It can save your financial life. If you are in an accident and can't work, how are you going to survive? If you are too banged up to work then you are probably too banged up to sell crack on the street corner, so don't even think about that one. I've seen a lot of people who had an accident and their disability coverage wasn't enough to keep them afloat. Make sure you have enough that you and your family will be taken care of if you are injured and cannot work. Most companies offer short term and long term disability and they are extremely cheap and worth every penny of the peace of mind that they can bring.

All right peeps, welcome back to everyone who was in Europe or South America. Congrats to all the recently married, especially those who had their receptions at italian restaurants with excellent food (seriously Sarah, that place was great). Also, congratulations to those who are recently engaged, y'all know who you are. catch you later in the week when I have something interesting to write.

Why I will never donate a dime to Boyd Law.

I don't get really angry at a lot of things. I certainly don't get angry at people who make mistakes. I believe that people should be allowed to make mistakes and then correct them. The only time mistakes make me angry is when the people who make them refuse to correct their mistakes and continue to engage in the same kind of behavior that led them to the mistakes in the first place.

That is why Boyd Law School makes me angry. I cannot recall hearing of an institution so stupidly and recklessly mismanaged as this law school. Not only does Boyd continue to get things wrong, but it obstinately refuses to change its behavior. It's Standard Operation Procedure has increasingly been one of callous indifference to the students it should be serving. Boyd has lost its way and with every slip up it has been the students who have been asked to take the consequences. Here are but a few ways in which Boyd law has failed its students.

Diversity

Most of us agree that diversity is a good thing, especially in higher education. Exposure to diverse viewpoints helps students contemplate a problem in different ways and see how people with different ideas might view a situation. This kind of diversity helps students in the legal profession by enabling them to develop broader, richer, and more far reaching arguments. Recently, Boyd has struggled greatly to increase ethnic diversity in its faculty. However, striving for this kind of diversity, and only this kind of diversity has cost Boyd to lose sight of a different kind of diversity: Academic diversity. The whole point of diversity is to expose students to different ideas, but the faculty at Boyd as more and more become ideologically homogeneous. They all look at the law the same way and have the same political ideals. There is only one professor at the school who will admit to being ideologically conservative, and he has been relegated to teaching night classes. Because almost all of the professors look at the law in the same way, students are not being exposed to the full spectrum of ideas. It is as if the legal world is a piano and all of the professors play the same note. There is a rich symphony of other notes that the students are not hearing. My favorite class this past year was one in which Prof. Shoben and Prof. Pollman introduced many different ways at looking at the law, even some they admittedly disagreed with or were not entirely sold on. It opened my eyes and it changed the way I thought and argued. However, this class has been the sad exception to the rule. Most classes are taught by professors who all look at the law the same way. Priests to the dogmatic legal religion approved by the administration.

I do not argue that racial diversity is a bad thing or that we shouldn't be trying to increase minority presence at Boyd. On the contrary, an increase in racial diversity, in the student body particularly, would be a good thing. However, we should also be striving to increase academic diversity. Professors with backgrounds in many different types of law, with many different political and academic beliefs would enhance the education at Boyd. However, the school has gone completely the other way. We have a multi-ethnic faculty who all say pretty much the same thing no matter who you ask.

Bar Prep

If the recent schedule is any indication, Boyd's new educational philosophy is "Thank God For BarBri." The small number of classes taught on Bar subjects can generously be described as embarrassing. Too many of the Bar classes that have been featured cover precious little that could actually be tested on the bar. Too often the class has been used as a pulpit for a professor to spout narrow political ideology and proselyte for their cause. A number of my friends have privately related that they just tune out in class during the political stump speeches, planning on learning the subject in their bar prep. This kind of thing is a disgrace. Boyd students go thousands of dollars into debt to get a legal education that they will have a very hard time paying for if they do not pass the bar. You would think that the institutions first priority would be to teach the students everything it possibly could to get them through the bar. However my experience has shown that the bar is most often an afterthought in too many classes.

Serving the Students

There has been a lot of controversy with the latest schedule and the administration has taken a lot of flak because of it. All of it has been deserved. This schedule amounts to nothing less than a slap in the face to students. However, the surprising thing is not that the school would put out a schedule which basically spits in the face of its students, or that it would obstinately refuse to do anything to fix the schedule. The surprising thing is that any of the students were surprised by the school's actions. The school's has never listened to students and any requests for input were merely token gestures at best. One need look no farther than the Professor Burnham debacle, in which a highly qualified and popular professor was dumped by the administration for spurious reasons, to see how the administration regards its students. Professor Burnham wanted to stay, the students loved him, the administration told him to take a hike. This is merely one example of the lengthy list of times that the administration chose its own wishes over the students. Far too often the Boyd response to student wishes has been "We don't care what you think. Deal with it." Thus, it should have come as a surprise to no one that Boyd Law would put out a schedule making life rough for working students. It certainly came as no surprise to me that the administration refused to eliminate the ten minute overlaps between morning classes that currently make it impossible for a student to take all of his or her classes in the morning. Personally, I laughed when the administration response was that any change in the schedule, even an obvious problem solver like pushing classes back ten minutes, would simply be unmanageable. It does cause me to wonder how the administration can deliver such a pathetic lie and then imagine it has any shred of credibility left with its students. I also can't help but wonder why the administration would make a schedule that requires students to come in the morning, and then not offer any more classes at night. Students who have jobs will have to spend extra gas making the trip back to Boyd every night. Students who simply don't have a job but don't wish to remain at the law school where the temperature in studying facilities is always unbearable will also have to shell out for extra gas to leave and come back. But hey, no problem, it's not like gas has dramatically increased in price lately, right?

* * *

So once again, the student are given the short end of the stick and told to lump it. That's fine. I'd expect nothing less from an institution that doubles its tuition and then cuts its services. I'm fine with all of it. I've looked into transferring to other schools for the final year, if I could find one I liked and could get through the bureaucratic nightmare of transferring , I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I know I probably won't. I'll probably stick it out and suffer one more year of Boyd. That's fine, I'll live. One thing I will never do though, is be happy about it. I will not give glowing reviews of this school if asked. I will certainly never, ever, give one more dime to this school than is required to get a diploma. Boyd, don't bother calling me and asking for Alumni donations, you won't get them. You've made it pretty clear that you don't care about me, so don't think that I will ever care about you. I will never donate, I will not attend alumni functions, I may even skip graduation. I have to live with you until May, but after that, you are dead to me and you will never see me again.

Sincerely,

Brad Sims, 3L

Gas

Sorry I haven't posted yet, I'll come up with something soon.

Running Blog

I was sick last week so I had to skip my saturday run. This week was a nice and easy week, just trying to ease back in to running after several days off.


So, not quite as much as a while ago, but still a decent distance.

Decided to put up a photo journal of today's run.

Here I am before running in all my glory:



All I can say is, by runner's standards, there shorts are modest, so don't make fun.

Remember 80% of running is proper nutrition:



I know what you you are thinking, and yes, they do all taste awful (except for the tylenol, which tastes minty). So what? What's your point? True men do not eat for pleasure, they eat for sustenance! They eat so that they have the energy to fight on! They eat because their food contains caffeine and there's nothing quite like a caffeine rush to get you going again after 10 miles. Mmmmmmmmmmmm........caffeine.

Here's a quick thermometer check for you:



Some people, namely doctors, will tell you it's too hot to run outside when the weather is like this. Well what do doctors know? Most doctors will tell you that people came from monkeys. Well guess what, doctors? I happen to notice that Monkeys live in Africa, where it is really hot as well, and you never hear of Monkeys getting heat stroke, do you? So which is it, doctors? Are we non-heat stroke prone monkeys or the children of a divine creator who also created SPF 30? Nice try, you godless sodomite MD's!

Here's a picture of the Pittman Wash, the starting point of my little jog today:



And lastly, here is me striking a superman pose after running 14.4 miles. See, I'm ready to go again.



Hmmmmm....looks like it's time to start doing a few crunches. And lift weights.


All right kids, that's it for the running blog. Catch ya later.

P.S. Viva la Vida and Speed of Sound are the same song. Am I the only one who notices this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

The Only Financial advice you'll ever need.

I've been thinking for a while about posting something on finance. I can't really advise anyone on how to get rich, not ever having been rich myself, but I can tell you how to eliminate debt, and how to avoid poverty, spending some 60 odd hours a week working in a bankruptcy firm. I was going to write up my own list, but I found that Scott Adams, writer of the popular Dilbert Comic Strip (and author of one of the greatest blogs ever) has written everything that I could possibly tell you. Here is the only financial advice you will ever need, with some additional commentary. None of it is complicated and if you follow it you will be fine.

1. Make a will

Trust me, just do it. You can do it yourself or have an attorney do it relatively cheaply. I've gone over this before but everyone, even if you are not married, should have a will. If you have children and you do not have a will, then you are being irresponsible and there is just no other way to say it. Hit legalzoom.com and get your stuff in order.

2. Pay off your credit cards

Nothing kills wealth better or enslaves you faster than debt. Nothing gets you into debt faster and keeps you there longer than credit cards. It is a proven fact that if you have a credit card you will almost certainly carry a balance on that card at some point. THe average american family has $8000 dollars of credit card debt. At 30% interest, that's $2400 a year the average American family pays for the privilege of being enslaved to a credit card company. That is money that could go to a variety of other worthy causes and instead goes to a creepy souless credit corporation who did nothing to deserve it. Pay these things off and cancel them. You do not need them. Online purchases can be made by debit card. Any discounts, points, mileage, etc. you get will be far less than the money you will save by not having a credit card. It is a proven fact you buy less when you pay cash for things, and a proven fact that if you have a credit card you will at some point carry a balance on it. As far as establishing credit, a car payment, cell phone, and house payment do far more to establish credit than your "American Depressed" card ever will. Get rid of them, they are a temptation you do not need.

3. Get term life insurance if you have a family to support.

Whole life insurance is a scam. Cash value insurance is a garbage product. Period. Have 10X your annual salary in term insurance on the bread winner. If you need this explained further feel free to talk to me off line.

4. Fund your 401k to the maximum

5. Fund your IRA to the maximum

6. Buy a house if you want to live in a house and can afford it.

There's no magic formula for house buying, but whatever mortgage you have, pay it off as fast as you can. If at all possible, try and get a fixed rate 15 year mortgage where the payment is one fourth your monthly take home. That might not be an option where you live, but if you are smart and save up a good down-payment (10-20%) you can probably manage a good mortgage. Don't touch adjustable rate mortgages. Don't go anywhere near them. Those things cause more bankruptcies these days than credit cards. Also, Never get a second mortgage. If you need a second mortgage it means you can't afford your house. Sell it. It's dry wall and concrete; it's not special. Too many people get attached to their houses and throw everything they can into trying to keep the house. It's dumb. I have to restrain myself every time a client says "I just can't bear to let go of the house." It is one of the single dumbest things you can think or say. If you find yourself sayin it, then you are not thinking rationally. Also, don't go near home equity lines of credit, they're just second mortgages. Never borrow against your home for anything. Ever.

7. Put six months worth of expenses in a money-market account.

Start by saving $1000 for emergencies then let that grow. Again, bankruptcy office is full, FULL of people who thought they would never get sick, never lose jobs, and that everything would be fine. Guess what, life happens. You need to make your plans with the idea in mind that the universe will probably screw with you at some point. You'll meet a guy named Murphy, who's law is that everything that can go wrong will go wrong. After you meet Murphy, he may decide to hang around you for a while. Be prepared for him. Remember that if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear. I had a client this week who's husband passed away a few years ago, did not leave enough to take care of her, her pension has had problems, and she was in a car accident on the way to visit the bankruptcy lawyer. Bad things happen and they usually don't happen alone.

8. Take whatever money is left over and invest 70% in a stock index fund and 30% in a bond fund through any discount broker and never touch it until retirement

An investment is not something you buy one day and sell the next. When you buy any kind of stock, bond, real-estate, etc, you need to plan on having it for a LONG time. The stock market changes day to day, but over time it always goes up.

9. If any of this confuses you, or you have something special going on (retirement, college planning, tax issues), hire a fee-based financial planner, not one who charges a percentage of your portfolio.

Self explanatory, and watch out, some of those financial consultants are hucksters who try and sell you special financial products (like whole life insurance) that are designed only to separate you from your money.

Follow these steps and assuming you are earning a decent wage you will avoid poverty.

The Manifesto

With the upcoming elections, here at the Simsisms institute for rational thought it might be prudent to declare our stance on the issues. Generally, here at the institute, we have a low tolerance for the bull that infects today's political discourse. We especially roll our eyes any time someone thinks government control will solve a problem, or that outlawing something will make it unavailable.

Issue 1

Immigration

What you should think: You shouldn't care.

You cannot stop immigration. Period. If people are already willing to risk their lives to come to this country, what makes anyone think there is a way to stop them from coming. If you build a wall, it will not stop immigration. Mexico may be poor, but they still have ladders. If you make guard towers ever 100 feet and deploy the entire army on the border to keep people out, immigrants will hop on boats. If you deploy the Navy to blockade all ports and search every incoming ship then immigrants will start forging documents. You cannot keep them out. What's more, why would you want to? What do they do that is so bad? Pay taxes and then return to Mexico before they can draw any benefits? Help save social security? They don't steal jobs from "Americans" because they generally do low wage work that "Americans" would never do. They pay for services and their presence creates jobs. Yes, there is a high incidence of drug trade that is channeled through illegal immigrants, but that is mostly because the current drug laws create huge financial incentives and current immigration laws create a permanent underclass that is easily exploited with offers of financial gain. We spend a fortune fighting the inevitable reality of immigration and we don't need to. The situation is no different than the RIAA thinking it can stop illegal downloading with lawsuits and intimidation. The tide is too great and the damage is too minimal to justify the fight. Accept that they are here and figure out a way to deal with that reality.

Issue#2
Socialized Medicine.

What you should think: You should be vehemently opposed to it.

We've covered this before on this site, but to rehash, most people have insurance. People who don't have insurance for the most part have made a conscious choice not to buy it and spend the money on something else, generally a Playstation 3. The health care you get with your current insurance will be better than what you will get with government care. Having lived in a country with socialized medicine, I can tell you it is not the healthcare paradise people would have you believe. Instead of an HMO telling you which doctor to see and what procedures you can have, you'll have a paper pusher telling you what to do. The same people who brought you the models of efficiency and simplicity that are the DMV and the IRS. Meanwhile, the rich continue to buy private health insurance and the best doctors will work at private hospitals. The current system is not perfect,in fact in many ways it outright sucks, but it is better than the alternative.

Issue #3

Ethanol

What you should think: You should be outraged about it.

Ethanol is the product of the corn lobby, which is massive. Most people don't know it, but in the 60's and 70's the corn lobby spent insane amounts of cash to make corn the staple of the american way of life. Corn products are now in everything. Odds are, you had some corn derivative today. In fact, high fructose corn syrup is the leading artificial sweetener and one of the off cited causes of the dramatic increase of obesity in the country. The corn industry was also able to pick up billions of subsidies to make a fuel called ethanol. Ethanol actually takes more fuel to produce than just burning straight gasoline, however the price at the pump is lower than gasoline because the government subsidizes production. That's right, your tax dollars pay for the production of a fuel more expensive than gasoline so that it costs less than gasoline.

Issue #4

Driver's Licenses for Illegal Immigrants.

How you should feel: you should be for them.

When New Mexico made licenses available to illegal immigrants, traffic fatalities fell by a third. Arguably, issuing licenses does legitimize illegal conduct, but would you rather stand on principle or save lives?

Issue #5

Hydrogen Fuel Cells

How you should feel: You should oppose them.

Hydrogen fuel cells are a fantasy that the auto industry uses to stall progress and continue to force you to buy cars with an internal combustion engine. The fact is, it will take a miracle to make hydrogen powered fuel cells affordable and mass-produceable. By the time they are ready for the assembly line, they will be outstripped by hybrid cars. Hybrids that can be plugged in to an AC outlet in your house are only a few years away. However, there is a billion dollars of federal grant money up for grabs to the auto industry for researching hydrogen fuel cells. Why are we spending a billion dollars to research technology that we will never use and is no better than what we already have?

The Mysterious Case of Coldplay

By now, you've almost certainly heard "Violet Hill," Coldplay's latest single. Like most Coldplay singles, it's great. However, Coldplay's problem has never been coming up with hit singles. "Yellow", "Trouble", "Clocks", "Scientist", "Clocks", "Fix You", etc., are all great songs. As far as their singles, only "Speed of Sound" is lackluster. The problem with Coldplay is that their singles are great, but their albums as a whole are only 3 stars at best. Sure they have some great songs, but they also have 7 other tracks that lack any kind of energy and it's impossible to listen to the whole thing straight through if you are trying to stay awake. They just aren't a high energy band. It's almost as if the guys from Bread tried to release a record in the style of U2.

It may sound like I don't like Coldplay. Not true at all. I love Coldplay. However, I find them frustrating because they should be a better band then they are. The rhythm section is top notch, the guitars make effective use of the minimalist style made famous by the Edge (taken from punk sensibilities and applied to rock music) and Chris Martin is a dynamic front-man and although his live vocals are occasionally weak (the live version of "Violet Hill" on MTV this weekend would not have made it out of the first round of American Idol) he can knock it out when he really needs to. For some reason it just never came together in a cohesive energetic album. The past albums just seemed to lack a certain passion. Which is why I have such high hopes for "Viva La Vida". There are strong indications that this could be Coldplay's "Joshua Tree." Recorded in churches, spiritual themes, it's the kind of thing that has energized many an artist in the past (it also nearly ruined Bob Dylan's career, but I digress). Like I say, I'm hopeful, but I'm not confident. I've just been burned by Coldplay too many times before. I absolutely want this album to be great, but I'm not paying to download it until I know it is.

Woke up this morning with a nose bleed and a sore throat, feeling down from a hard week of watching people lose everything when the tides of fortune wash everything away in a sea of debt. Needles to say, there's only one prescription.


18 and a quarter miles. Yeah baby! Eat your heart out slackers.

Also, the 84RKR has generously developed some art for simsisms. It's tight like a dish and I'll probably add it to the banner when I get more time. Here it is for all to see:



Also, been listening to a lot of Dave Ramsey. His podcast is free on iTunes, I highly recommend it. He helps people figure out how to get out of debt and tells it straight. More people need to have someone sit down and tell them to dump the houses, cars and crap they can't afford.

After a week of helping people lose everything, let me take this opportunity to urge everyone to burn your credit cards, pay off the balance and never look back. They are absolutely evil. Start working for a living and stop working for VISA.

Lately I've been hearing a lot about scummy collection processes. Congress passed the fair debt collection practices act a number of years ago and most collections agencies just use it to wipe their rear ends. Know your rights. If you owe money, the FDCPA places strict guidelines on collections agents.

From Wiki:

The Act prohibits certain types of "abusive and deceptive" conduct when attempting to collect debts, including the following:

• Hours for phone contact: contacting consumers by telephone outside of the hours of 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. local time^[2]
• Contact after being asked to stop: contacting consumers in any way (other than litigation) after receiving written notice that said consumer wishes no further contact or refuses to pay the alleged debt, with certain exceptions, including advising that collection efforts are being terminated or that the collector intends to file a lawsuit or pursue other remedies where permitted^[3]
• Causing a telephone to ring or engaging any person in telephone conversation repeatedly or continuously: with intent to annoy, abuse, or harass any person at the called number.^[4]
• Contacting consumers at their place of employment after having been advised in writing that this is not acceptable^[5]
• Contacting consumer known to be represented by an attorney^[6]
• Contacting consumer after request for validation: contacting the consumer or the pursuing collection efforts by the debt collector after receipt of a consumer's written request for verification of a debt (or for the name and address of the original creditor on a debt) and before the debt collector mails the consumer the requested verification or original creditor's name and address^[7]
• Misrepresentation or deceit: misrepresenting the debt or using deception to collect the debt, including a debt collector's misrepresentation that he or she is an attorney or law enforcement officer^[8]
• Publishing the consumer's name or address on a "bad debt" list^[9]
• Seeking unjustified amounts, which would include demanding any amounts not permitted under an applicable contract or as provided under applicable law^[10]
• Threatening arrest or legal action that is either not permitted or not actually contemplated^[11]
• Abusive or profane language used in the course of communication related to the debt^[12]
• Contact with third parties: revealing or discussing the nature of debts with third parties (other than the consumer's spouse or attorney) or threatening such action^[13]
• Contact by embarrassing media, such as communicating with a consumer regarding a debt by post card, or using any language or symbol, other than the debt collector’s address, on any envelope when communicating with a consumer by use of the mails or by telegram, except that a debt collector may use his business name if such name does not indicate that he is in the debt collection business ^[14][15]
• Reporting false information on a consumer's credit report or threatening to do so in the process of collection^[16]

If you've been subjected to illegal collections practices you need to get the name of the collections company, document the event and report it to the federal trade commission. They are listed in the government pages of your local phone book.

See ya later peeps

What's that? That's the sound of my bones creaking after a fifteen miler! No, I'm not training for a marathon. I just hit 11.5 miles and thought "I wonder how much 12 will hurt?" Then I started thinking what would 13 feel like? Then 14? Then I realized I was a mile from my car.

For those wondering, my pace was slow and low, 7:44 a mile. Not bad for carrying around 10-15 extra pounds and running in the hills of Henderson.

During my run I had a lot of time to ponder. I thought a lot about bankruptcy. We've noticed a downshift in the number of retainers this month and I think it's because of the upcoming economic stimulus check. Basically, I've come to the conclusion that the stimulus check is the ultimate example of rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. For a lot of people, it is just going to buy time, for others, a playstation. Either way, it does not solve the underlying problems of the economy, namely nonexistence of credit, rising oil prices, foreclosure fallout, and a weak dollar.

So as I was running, I got to thinking, do rich celebrities get economic stimulus checks? I don't think they do, and I really hope that they don't. But if they did, what would they spend the money on? Could we mandate that certain celebrities had to spend the money on certain things? If so, here's some celebrities and what they should be forced to spend their stimulus checks on.

What's-his-name, that kid who won American idol


What should he buy?

Hair Plugs



Sorry bro, but Donald Trump thinks your hairline is receding. Take the check and put it towards some hair club for men. You might be able to squeeze a few more months out of this American Idol thing before you fade into obscurity.

Britney Spears




What should she buy?

Lithium. Lots of freaking lithium.



Look, I love celebrity meltdowns as much as the next guy. Whenever someone with a boatload on money goes nuts and couch jumps it makes me feel okay about being dirt poor. But this is just gone too far. It's never an easy thing to admit that you are crazy, but when a court thinks that your kids are safer with Kevin Federline than they are with you, it's time to wake up. Girl, you are crazy. Get some meds.



Chris Martin



What should he buy?

The U2 Box Set



Seriously, Chris, we all know you want to be Bono, but quit copying. By the way, Apple is a great name for a computer and a dumb name for a kid.

Manu Ginobli



What should he buy?

Acting Lessons



Manu, no one was around you. You were not fouled. Stop it.

Kobe Bryant



What he should buy

How to win friends and influence people



Kobe, you can win a hundred titles and the MVP every year for the rest of your life. It doesn't change the fact that no one likes you. You're a selfish human being and you care more about yourself than the game. Apparently, selling out your former teammates in the press, demanding a trade, berating your teammates and playing the first half of the season with a 39 cent stamp until an incompetent GM drunkenly deals an all star to your team for pennies on the dollar makes you the most valuable player in the National Basketball Association. NBA, where douchebaggery happens.

Hillary Clinton



What she should buy

A clue.



It's over, give up.

By the way, mentioning assasination when your opponent is black? That should be an instant disqualification for the presidency, kind of like not being able to pronounce the word "nuclear." Oh, wait....


Haven't had a lot of time lately but I thought I'd drop some links. First, great story on how an organization dedicated to giving away kidneys is running into problems.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119862544508149593.html

Next, great story from cracked.comon five movies who were ruined when the studios messed with their endings. Nice to know that I am Legend orginally didn't suck at the end.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16258_5-awesome-movies-ruined-by-last-minute-changes.html

Paper on how immigration is being turned into a way of essentially fighting another county

http://www.cis.org/articles/2008/back108.html

See y'all later

No need for speed

It was slow, it was hard, but it felt good.

13.69 ways to get over finals.





By the way, my ipod has a power song option. You push a button and your power song starts playing to motivate you to run faster. Any ideas what I should choose?

Graduation

For all you graduates, here's Ali G's commencement address from Harvard, 2004.

Don't Vote

The Munchkins

Sorry for the long delay between posts. Basically, I've been swamped. The new bankruptcy job has totally taken over my free time. It's fun though and hopefully I'll be doing the raging workaholic thing all summer at the bankruptcy firm . Thankfully, the economy is tanking and people are losing everything they've worked their whole lives for at a record rate. Fingers crossed, it will continue for years. If only George Bush could run for another term...

Went home this weekend and spent time with two of my favorite peeps, Thomas and Emma. Skipped my Saturday run and worked on the heavy bag instead. My doctor thinks I don't deal with stress in a healthy way, this photo may show that he's right. It's my hand the morning after. The big red spots are where my knuckles started bleeding and I kept hitting the bag anyway.



What anger management problem?

Had a lot of fun with Thomas and Emma. Emma is totally crazy. As David says it, "She thinks she's people" and loves to have all kinds of conversations. She's very inquisitive. She also loves to be involved. She told us all about her sunbeams class, and the stickers she got. She very enthusiastically told us how the Primary told her that she was "a new visitor" and she just loved that the Primary sang the "Welcome" song to her. Job well done Monica Ward Primary, Emma was very happy and felt very well treated. Emma also discovered the joy of Lincoln logs.




Incidentally, Lincoln Logs were tailor made for the Sims children. Emma loves to spread them around the floor and make a mess, and Thomas like to put things back in containers, so he just cleaned up after her and thought it was the greatest thing ever.

Here Emma shows off her new wonder pets coloring book. Grandma and Papa hook their grandchildren up. Thomas got a puppy coloring book, however he finds the crayons far more interesting.



Emma and Thomas also got a kick out of a stuffed dog Papa bought for Grandma a few years back. If you push a button the dog sings and plays "Stop, In the Name of Love." Needless to say, the children loved that toy and if I ever here that song again I might light myself on fire.



Most of the weekend I spent chasing after Thomas and we became buds. We bonded over similar interests. Our mutual love of cheerios and animal crackers, the toy where the beads are on a looped wire and you push them around like a roller coaster, stairs, ramps, and a mutual disdain of pants. My genius nephew has figured out how to ditch his pants and tends to do so as soon as no one is looking. He also showed us his latest trick: reading. He can name all the capital letters of the alphabet on sight. It's pretty much his favorite thing to do. He will read the letters off to you on stop signs, license plates, or books. We sat in the hallway of church and he read the letters on the EXIT sign off to me. "This is an E....This is an X," in his barely decipherable toddler voice. I'm not making any of this up. He's one and a half and he can read letters. He loves to point out anything else he knows the name for, like door, toothbrush, water, and doggy. Oh, and he loves to climb on things. We had such a fun time together. What a cool little kids. Here's some pics of my bud:










Also, before I forget, congrats to everyone who is getting married or got married recently. Corey and Jen, thanks for the invite, the party was slamming. Sorry about wrinkling the bed in the back.
Congrats to Jen Kirk, Congrats to Will, and Big Congrats to Sarah and Danny, hope to hear the date soon. Michelle, if you have anything you should care to announce...

That's all for now folks. I need to do something with my hair soon so I look a little more presentable to clients. Apparently the long haired, homeless hippie look is out this year. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Catch you on the other side of finals!

Tejada Parody

I believe...NBA edition

I believe...

The Jason Kidd trade is officially a bust.

Jason Kidd should face suspension for the flagrant foul on Wright.

Chris Paul should have been the MVP

Chris Paul was right, the Mavs ARE SOFT!!!

Avery Johnson will be cashing unemployment checks soon.

No one who supports hack-a-Shaq should be let anywhere near an announcing booth. I'm looking at you VanGundy. I was throwing things at the TV and it is your fault!

Tyler Perry is out to single handedly undo the civil rights movement.

Chris Webber might have a future in broadcasting.

Iron Man looks awesome.

No way to the Suns go four in a row.

It's not D'Antoni's fault he has no bench.

The Spurs are dirty and boring to watch.

They should start fining players for flopping.

Greg Popovich might be a great coach, but hack-a-Shaq is the very definition of poor sportsmanship and there should be fines associated with it.

ESPN should be prohibited from calling itself the World Wide Leader in Sports until it gets a decent announcing team. Abysmal. That's the word to describe what they have right now.

Steve Kerr may be available to announce games with Marv Albert next year

Charles Barkely should not be Governor of Alabama.

Magic Johnson is not good in the studio.

No one is watching Toronto vs. Orlando.

Gilbert Arenas is overrated.

TNT really wants you to watch the Closer.

The 76ers really need to beat Detroit. I hate the Pistons. Hate. Them. They won one ring, years ago, and they've been acting like they are the 85 Lakers ever since. News flash. You aren't that great. No one likes you and you are boring, BORING, to watch. The idea of a Pistons/Spurs final makes me want to gouge out my eyes with an ice cream scoop.

The Denver Nuggets do not belong in the playoffs.

The Celtics are not as invincible as people think.

If there is a Celtics/Lakers final, I may lose my job.



Okay, for all you LOSTies, here's my theory so far. Spoiler Alert.

Widmore was the Captain of the Black Rock. Ben kicked him off the Island and now Widmore can't find his way back, no matter how hard he tries. Ben left the Island on the time machine located in the Orchid station. That's why he didn't know where he was or what year it was. Locke was told by Jacob to kill Ben and that is why Ben left in the time machine. Jacob is the physical manifestation of the Island's will. Also, Michael was in the coffin, which raises the question, how could he have died?

Anyone else have thoughts?

Needy?

I posted this on my facebook profile, but here it is for everyone else to enjoy. Moral: keep your money or pay fast offerings so you know the money goes to someone actually in need.

Worst Crime Ever.

This is why capital punishment exists.

Link Here

Dear Danny

Good Luck with FINALS!!!!!

The Undertaker Sketch

Dedicated to fellow blogger, 84rkr, who has been feeling a bit dead lately. It's the infamous Monty Python "undertaker sketch" which I recently ran across and couldn't resist posting.

The Office is Back!!!

That's right kiddos. The office is going to start back up again. We've waited for months and I, for one, am excited. Just to give you a taste, here is the first scene.

Dear Darbley

So, I watched Dan in Real Life this weekend (I swear I didn't know Dane Cook was in it when I rented it). I really liked the movie and it got me thinking, why don't I write an advice column? How hard can it really be. Of course, no one writes me letters asking me for advice, so I figured for my first column, I'd just steal the letters from Dear Abby and show how I could give better advice than even the most well known advice columnist. So hear are Dear Abby letters, and my responses to them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a woman in Phoenix -- where we both lived -- for the past three years. We were in an exclusive relationship, but not living together because I was going through a divorce when we met. Throughout our time together I have helped "Jackie" with rent and cash gifts.

I have since moved to California, and Jackie would like to come and live with me. I thought it would be nice, but a cohabitation agreement would be necessary because I have a lot of assets and she has very few.

After some discussion, she came up with an agreement, but I feel the benefits package she's asking for is too high. She's asking me to pay all living expenses, housing, food, health insurance, a new car with auto insurance and an allowance of $3,000 a month.

I balked on this "deal" because it seems more like a rental agreement rather than a loving relationship. She maintains that she needs a "cushion" in case the relationship doesn't work out because she'll be leaving her job and friends behind.

My friends laugh when I tell them the terms of the arrangement. What are your thoughts? -- WAITING IN CAPISTRANO

Dude, What exactly is the difference between you and Elliot Spitzer? At least he knew he was paying for a hooker. Look, WIC, I'm not judging you, here in Vegas we have tons of hookers, it's no big deal. I'm just saying be honest with yourself. WIC, what is wrong with you that you have to pay a woman to be with you? Do you have a facial deformity? Look like the unholy offspring of Star Jones and the Elephant Man? There are literally thousands of women with low self confidence and poor self image that would pay to be with you! I suggest you find these women and date them. Try myspace, or clubs where they play emo music. The only cushion your current girlfriend needs is the one she lands on when you toss her high maintenance, gold-digging butt out.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has four siblings, all adults with families of their own. A little more than a year ago, my father-in-law, "Carl," asked Mom for a divorce. That's when we learned that their relationship had been going downhill for several years.

All of the "kids," especially my husband, have embraced Mom and shunned Carl. They say terrible things about him and his new girlfriend, "Angie," whom they refuse to meet. We hardly see Carl anymore, and the few times he has come to our home for dinner, my husband has made it clear that Angie is not welcome.

I don't pretend to know how it feels to have your parents split up after 40 years. I try to be understanding and supportive to my husband and his family. I have kept my opinions to myself, but I am frustrated with all of them. I'm certain Carl waited to end his marriage until after all his children were old enough to understand. I feel they need to make some kind of move to get past this. Is there anything I can do? -- KEEPING IT TO MYSELF IN PENNSYLVANIA

Dear KITMIP,

Let me ask you a question, how do you want your kids to treat the trashy skank your husband takes up with after he dumps you after 30 years of marriage? I'm guessing that you'd want your kids to throw molotov cocktails at her car while you spend his alimony checks on booze and a "pool boy". You know why they don't embrace Angie? Because they are secretly saving up money to pay for a hitman. The only move that is going to help your husband's family get past this is when Dad and the Floosie move to Florida with all of the other people who want to still feel young while driving 45 in the fast lane with their blinker on. The fact that you are worried about this tells me you have too much time on your hands. Come to think about it, what are you doing writing letters to Dear Abby. I suggest you get yourself back into the kitchen and make your hubby a sandwich, unless you want to have to spend your later years looking for a good "pool boy."

Why do I run?

Sometimes people ask my why I run so much.

I run because it's hard

I run because there are days that I'm angry

I run because there are days that I'm sad

I run because because there's part of me that doesn't think I'm strong enough to go the full distance, and I need to prove that part wrong.

I run because there are times it makes me nauseous.

I run because there are times it makes me sore.

I run because I think I'm weak

I run because I get runner's high and it makes it worth any pain.

I run because when I can barely move and I want to collapse is when I feel most alive

I run for all the times I felt frustrated, or disappointed, or unhappy.

I run because every moment my heart isn't beating at over 160 beats a minute, I feel like a sissy.

I run because I secretly suspect that I might be insane

I run because shin splints are imaginary.

I run because tendinitis is not as painful as I thought it was

I run because asthma will never control my life

I run because I hope to do a marathon on my 100th birthday

I run because I have no interest in video games

I run because when I hear the theme from chariots of fire, I've got to move

I run because I love it, and I'm hopelessly, endlessly addicted to it.

I run because it's part of who I am.